Monday, April 30, 2012

Avengers II

The most anticipated movie of the summer The Avengers opens this weekend. The film brings together some of the most popular super heroes from the Marvel Comics. However, there were several lesser known costumed crime fighters from that franchise that did not make it into the film:

The Kitty: Unlike Spiderman’s paramour The Black Cat, The Kitty exhibits feline qualities which are more applicable to a lazy Sunday afternoon than fighting crime. She is aloof, difficult to train and spends hours on personal grooming. Her enemies can easily exploit her one weakness by focusing sunlight into a patch on a sofa or armchair and The Kitty immediately falls asleep.

InsideOut Man: As his name suggests InsideOut Man can reverse himself so all his insides are on the outside. Sadly, returning to normal is a more difficult process and requires a team of paramedics and a the use of a bathysphere.

Perspire: No matter the temperature or how low stress the situation, you can count on Perspire to shvitz like a motherf*%#er all over the bad guys. Sadly, Perspire has the highest laundry bill of all the superheroes.

The Nag: Her superpowers are plentiful but limited only to domestic activities. She can whine, berate, agitate, wheedle, threaten, criticize, harangue, complain, gripe, trouble and badger with an unrelenting ferocity that leaves the victim feeling like it was all his fault.

Encyclopedia Jones: perhaps the brainiest of the superheroes, Encyclopedia Jones’ eidetic memory allows him to recall details flawlessly with a precision that rivals NASA’s most advanced computers. However, his ability to remember is restricted only to 1970’s and 80’s television trivia.

Butterfingers: The comedic relief of the superhero world, Butterfingers was exposed to radioactive lubricant and now his skin has no coefficient of friction. It is only through wearing specially designed clothing can Butterfingers even navigate crossing a room. But if you need someone to drop something at just the right time when defeating evil forces from another dimension, he’s your guy!

Maybe if there is an Avengers sequel…

Friday, April 27, 2012

Like A Blow to the Head.

With the passing of William Lawlis Pace at 103 years of age, the world has lost the Guinness Book Record Holder for the "Longest Time Lived with a Bullet in a Person's Head". Now the search is on to scour the globe for another elderly person with shrapnel of any kind stick in their cranium. Much time is being spent focussing on both Congress and State Senates where the behavior of elected officials can be explained as being the result of such head trauma.

In a related story, the father of Balloon Boy is planning to shoot one or more of his kids in the head in a safe manner (low caliber, long distance), to prepare them for such notoriety later in life. "It may be too late for the olderst ones," he told reporters. "But the younger two may have a chance for fame by the time they are 100!"

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Miss DR Not a “Miss”!

Another controversy has hit the hallowed halls of the Miss Universe pageant. On the heels of the explosive Miss Canada sex-change scandal that forever changed the way the contest defines gender comes another challenge to the sacred Rule Book.

Recently crowned Miss Dominican Republic winner Carlina Duran has been forced to relinquish her title after organizers discovered she is in fact married! The lovely 25 year old fitness professional hid her marriage of nearly three years even going so far as to lie on her contest application.

“This is an unforgivable transgression,” said Dominican pageant director Megaly Febles. “It’s one thing to change the rules to recognize transgendered participants as women. The very definition of ‘Miss’ is to be unmarried. You can’t just reverse that with a surgeon’s scalpel.”

Since the Dominican Republic’s second largest export (with the first being professional baseball players) is pageant queens, the country regards beauty contest rules violations very seriously. Mrs. Duran will be sentenced to three years hard labor housekeeping at a coastal all-inclusive resort.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Rimshot Anyone?

It's time for a favorite feature on Dogs & Jeans: You Write the Punch Line!

We take a random odd news item and you, the readers, get to submit your best one-liner designed to really get the laughs going. Here is today's bizarre news story:

Man Shoots Wife and Self in Gun Safety Class
"During a brief absence by the instructor, a Roanoke, Va. man, shot himself in the hand while in at a local community college. The bullet then continued on and struck his wife in the leg."

Some examples of punchlines could include:
  • "Upon release from the hospital the husband is reported to have said next semester she gets to pick between Italian Cooking and Fun With Watercolors."
  • "Surprisingly, police said it was not the clumsiest murder-suicide they had ever seen."
  • "The wife appeared relieved saying 'That's it for the blow jobs!'"
  • "College Dean Claudine Longet say she couldn't figure out what all the fuss was about."

Okay, the last one might be too obscure, but you get the idea. Submit your punchline in the comments below and win the acclaim that goes along with being the funniest reader on Dogs & Jeans.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Hunger Date

Now that the crowds have thinned out somewhat, Mrs. Trooper and I went on a little ‘dinner and a movie’ date this weekend to watch "The Hunger Games" at our local Dodeca-Cineplex. Having both read the book, we were looking forward to see how the director would adapt the story of desperate teens killing one another in a televised gladiator/survival contest without making it seem too much like "The Voice."

Please enjoy these random observations:

“If I wanted to watch 12 minutes of commercials before the previews, I could have stayed home and saved 15 bucks!”

The Avengers looks cool! But unless the giant robots’ weakness is big breasts in squeezed into leather, I think Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow will be pretty ineffective at saving the world.”

“These reclining theatre seats are so comfortable. There’s no way I’d stay awake if we were here to see Remains of the Day

“Jennifer Lawrence appears about as starved as Lindsey Lohan seems sober.”

“The Reaping sequence looks familiar. I’m pretty sure it was called Schindler’s List the last time I saw it.”

“They should get an Academy Award in Make Up for making Elizabeth Banks look so terrible!”

“Cool beard Seneca.”

“North Korea must want the world to think life there is like the depiction of The Capitol when it really is like living in District 12.”

“During the training sequence they should be playing Carl Douglas’ ‘Kung Fu Fighting’.”

“Cinna sure looks familiar…”

“And they’re off! The fight at the Cornucopia wasn’t the bloodbath I expected but you still got the gritty sense of chaotic slaughter without the gory rampage that was possible. Tarantino might have done it differently.”

“What? No brown urine Katniss?”

“Okay, I’ll admit the fireballs are more interesting than three days of gradual dehydration.”

“Can’t decide if The District 11 uprising is a more moving response to Rue’s death or the sponsorship gift.”

“Where have I seen Cinna before? CSI? Law and Order? Where dammit?”

“And she saves Peeta. Boring romance though. If I was a Capitol viewer, I don’t think I’d be moved to help them.”

“The giant dogs in the movie are better than the book. I almost stopped reading when they introduced the re-animated tribute/mutant wolf hybrids.”

“Lennie Kravits! That’s who it is! Whew.”

“I bet John Edwards wished he could eat a handful of nightlock berries right about now.”

“Jeeze, you’d think with their ability to manipulate the weather and manifest wild dogs out of nothing, the game designers could have whipped up another crown in an hour or two.”

“And we are set for the sequel. Okay, now for some Indian food.”

Friday, April 20, 2012

Bad Fiction College

A recently released thesis from students at The Victoria Management School in Wellington, New Zealand presented a detailed scenario of a futuristic brothel where perfect robotic escorts will satisfy the desires of their clients in all manner of exotic ways. The proposal, submitted as part of a graduate degree program, paints a picture of red-light districts in the year 2050 where “about 100 scantily clad blondes and brunettes parade around in exotic G-strings and lingerie."

Since the research paper’s publication, the Victoria Management School has received thousands of admission requests from around the world from people who want to earn academic credentials by turning their questionable science fiction stories and late night masturbatory fantasies into academic dissertations.

Some of the ideas from potential PhD include:

  • Ways to Kill Hitler Through Time Travel

  • Using the Power of Invisibility to Have Sex with Supermodels

  • My Dinosaur Army

  • Free Nationalized Health Care for Everybody!

  • Bodybuilding Success with Beer and Pizza

  • Alien Abduction: How Anal Probes Can Cure Everything from Agoraphobia to Zygomycotic Infections.

  • What If “ThunderCats” Was Real?

  • The Year I Won the Superbowl

  • Hypnotic Suggestion for Fun and Profit!

  • Sarah Palin’s America

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Dick Clark’s Failed Ideas

Dick Clark passed away yesterday at the age of 82. It’s been said of Clark that through hosting American Bandstand for more than 50 years that “only God made more stars.” From Buddy Holly and James Brown to Run DMC and Boyz 2 Men, Clark was responsible for introducing several generations of performers to America. In addition, the “world’s oldest teenager” developed and hosted several popular entertainment shows including the $20,000 and $100,000 Pyramids, “TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes” and the many New Years Rocking Eve specials.

But not every Dick Clark musical act and TV show was a success. Among the hits, Clark had more than his fair share of stinkers:

Zu$ie Q: Perhaps too much for the late 50’s, this spicy teenage performer was known more for her flamboyant personality than her singing talent. Between her racy attire, bacchanalian lifestyle and in-your-face attitude, Zu$ie Q set the music world on edge in 1958 with songs such as: Rock & Roll Riot Squad, Hangover Romeo and Teachers Pet (But What I Need Is a Good Spanking). Sadly, if Clark could have launched her during the Britney Spears era, Zu$ie Q may have been a chart topper.

Name That Cheese: Sponsored by Kraft Foods, this short-lived game show paired celebrities with normal citizens in a challenge to identify varieties of cheese while blindfolded. Early rounds featured taste comparisons between easily distinguished cheeses such as mozzarella and Roquefort, and moved on to more difficult evaluations like regional varieties of brie. Clark’s producers tried to combat poor early ratings by pairing Name That Cheese with a half hour wine quiz show but a spoiled vintage of California Zinfandel brought on such massive stomach cramps in the cast and crew, the whole project was shelved.

The Jail Birds: This musical group was literally composed of former convicts. Conceived as an ensemble group where individuals could come and go based on their various parole regulations, the act struggled both with travel restrictions hampering any touring out of state, a high degree of recidivism, and a general lack of musical talent in the arsonist section. With the advent of 'urban' music in the late 90's, Clark tried to revive the concept under the name "The Ex-Cons" but cancelled the opening performance after an electronic ankle monitor malfunctioned in the shower, killing bassist Steve “The Molester” Sherwin.

The Simpkins: This animated half hour comedy focused on a dysfunctional family struggling with the problems of daily life. The parents oil refinery worker Hugo and soccer mom Madge were constantly battling wits with their three children: Brett, a mischievous 10 year old, Leslie an over achieving but under confident 8 year old, and Midge their toddler. After one airing the show was cancelled due to multiple copyright violations.

The Taliban's Got Talent: In an attempt to mine the last untouched reservoir of human vocalists on the planet, Clark launched this talent contest exclusively for participants from this small fundamentalist sect. Critics felt the show pandered to the Muslim community and a section of the public fed up with the loose morals of today’s celebrities (many of who were launched by Clark himself) and the show quickly became background noise in a marketplace already crammed with reality shows and vocal competitions. Ironically, Farzhay ak-Abbanis, one of the programs few participants to be shown on the air, was Zu$ie Q’s granddaughter.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The NHL and The Second Ammendment

The Stanley Cup Playoffs has witnessed an alarming trend to vicious open ice hits in the head. So far eight players have been suspended for “dangerous hits”. Despite the league’s efforts all season to reduce the risk of concussions, each playoff series was had one or more serious head-hunting incident. However, it seems the NHL’s message is not getting through to players if last night’s hit on Marian Hossa by Raffi Torres is any example. No penalty was called on Torres during the game, despite the obvious violation of several rules, but he has now received an indefinite suspension pending a review if the incident by the NHL’s disciplinary committee.

Because of the potential for serious harm, and the low probability of the issuance of penalties by referees to stem the tide, players have decided to arm themselves prior to taking the ice. In an ironic twist, the hockey rule book is silent on the carrying of concealed weapons during games. While the use of the stick itself as a weapon is clearly stated, knives, clubs, nunchuks and hand guns appear to be okay with league officials. A spokesman for beleaguered Pittsburgh Penguin captain Sidney Crosby has confirmed that the star skater will be carrying protection when they take the ice in a must win game against rival Philadelphia tonight.

“Sid know first-hand the consequences of a concussion and he’s not about to risk another,” said agent Todd Rushton. “He’s not saying he’ll use it, but it’s important for any head-hunter out there to know tonight’s not the night to mess with Sid the Kid!”

In a counter measure to contain any potential escalated violence, referees and linesmen will be issued with TASERs before they drop the puck for at least the remained of the first round.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Federal Hooker Smuggling?

The Secret Service is reeling from the revelation that agents and members brought 21 Colombian prostitutes to their hotel while on duty at an international summit. The public outrage at this inexcusable behavior while “on the job” will only increase once the following internal Secret Service pamphlet is released to the press. From the same people who brought you "National Have Your Lawyer Take A Stripper To A Cemetary Day", Dogs & Jeans presents:

“How To Sneak a Hooker To Your Room”

Congratulations on being selected for a foreign duty. During this assignment you will see many exotic locations, famous landmarks and experience all the wondrous food, music and cultural aspects of another land. Plus you can get laid!

Meeting prostitutes in other countries is often easy; poverty ensures they are inexpensive and plentiful. But finding an opportunity to be alone together can prove difficult, especially if you are on a Presidential detail. With some creativity, you can use your off-hours time in your hotel room for a little one-on-one. “But how can I sneak a girl past all the security?” you may ask. It’s a good question but with a little planning and ingenuity you can make it happen!

  • Disguises: If Saturday morning cartoons have taught us anything, it’s that a simple disguise can allow you to get anyone past a self-important doorman, busybody concierge or nosy bellhop. A simple overcoat and fake moustache gave Scooby-Doo access to all manner of facilities normally off limits to dogs, talking or otherwise. Using floppy hats, oversized glasses, maintenance coveralls, lab coat, Little League baseball uniforms and other handy apparel, you can dress your young lady-friend up so that no one will interrogation you for bringing your aged grand-mother, physician or rosy cheeked nephew up to your hotel room for a late night rendezvous.

  • Diversions: Like the best magicians, creating some excitement in one location can provide the misdirection needed for the sort of hocus-pocus that leads to some hanky-panky! A well timed kitchen fire, bomb scare or moped crash in the hotel lobby can cause such a panic, you can steal your hooker up through the back stairwell in the ensuing commotion.

  • The Trojan Horse: Hotels come well equipped with apparatus (housekeeping carts, laundry bags, luggage dollies etc.) that can be serve more than one use. Turn room service into “full” service by having your prostitute come up hidden on the cart. With some imagination, you may even squeeze two or three girls on the bottom rack.

  • Ponzi Scheme: Not really applicable to this situation. See the pamphlet entitled ‘Retirement Planning’.

  • Bridal Shower: For several days leading up to your intended tryst, you can post notices in the hotel lobby advertising the bridal shower to be thrown in your room. In this way, no eyebrows will be raised when inebriated women engaged in questionable behavior appear in the elevators and vestibules. The one stipulation to the Bridal Shower ruse is that fir it to be believable, you require a minimum of five girls. Of course the benefit to the Bridal Shower ruse is you get to have at least five girls back in your hotel room!

So enjoy your time on your foreign assignment but stay healthy. Remember the first rule of safe sex is to put your gun in the nightstand drawer before taking your pants off.


Monday, April 16, 2012

Shocking Truth Behind The Scene?

Journalist were given a rare peek behind the curtain revealing the faces of the real North Korea last week. Foreign press are normally restricted to government approved neighbourhoods and facilities when in the rigid communist country and see only what the ruling party wants them to see. However, an error by the bus driver took the reporters on short trip to see crumbling buildings and crushing poverty only one wrong turn from the streets which stand as ideals of socialist living. Among the dirt roads, beggars and animal powered vehicles that make it difficult to distinguish residential Pyongyang from a 15th Century Korean village were some surprisingly anachronistic sights:

  • Newt Gingrich’s regional campaign office

  • Korean Starbucks equivalent: The Glorious People’s Caffeine Emporium of Invincible Proletariat Flavor.

  • Posters announcing the annual Reaping

  • A queue for “Bottoms Up!” Pyongyang’s hottest gay night club

  • Six Sunglasses Huts

  • Former American Idol winner Taylor Hicks in concert

  • An H & R Block kiosk manned by Casey Anthony

  • Lindsey Lohan also having taken a wrong turn after too many cocktails

Friday, April 13, 2012

"Draw Something" Awful

The mobile device game "Draw Something" has experienced phenomenal success since it's release only two months ago. The doodle app has been a hit with social network users around the globe exploding faster than a popcorm machine during a weekend screening of "The Hunger Games". The simple Pictionary type game has also brought its developers $200 million through a sale to game distributor Zynga.

From simple scribbles of fruit and cars to complex portraits of movie stars, Draw Something allows users to discover the artist in them. However, not all subject matter has proven to be as popular as others.

Here is a list of some of the least sketched material in game archives:

  • Snooki without makeup
  • The North Korean nuclear program
  • Stanley Cup Riots
  • Joe Pesci
  • A bag of cats
  • The Theory of Relativity
  • Divorce
  • The sound of one hand clapping
  • That thing where a midget on roller skates wears all your clothes and you wheel them through the airport.
  • An autopsy
  • Friday the 13th 1307 arrest of the Knights Templar
  • The cast of "Lost"
  • Foreclosure
  • Male genitalia (Are you kidding me!?!)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

60 Trivial Minutes

Mike Wallace passed away over the weekend leaving behind an unrivalled legacy of journalism. However, among Wallace’s many landmark interviews and investigations were some less than startling pieces. Here’s a sample of some of the quickly forgotten stories:

  • I Love Lucy, But Does Desi?
  • The Castaways: Why trust Gilligan with the one item that will ensure rescue?
  • Alien Abduction: Real or Just a Bunch of Crazy People?

  • The Once Was a Man from Topanga: The poetry of Charles MansonHelp from America: The secret to Rula Lenska's manageable hair

  • Up: What future holds for “Balloon Boy”
  • Royal Flush: Pippa Middleton is more than just a nice butt
  • Steve the Electrician: Where does he stand on Joe the Plumber's politics?No Paper Chase: The sketchy legal training of Sean Hannity

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Where's My Money Facebook?

On the heels of today's announcement that Facebook is buying Instagram for $1 billion (with a "B"), Dogs and Jeans is re-offering some prototypes from it's Application Development Division. And by "prototype" we mean some notes jotted down on various bar napkins.

Over the past three years, we have dabbled unsuccessfully in the lucrative world of iPhone apps, Internet technology and lawsuits. Unfortunately those efforts have always stalled due to a lack of either capital funding, computer skills or legal training (or any combination of the three). Sadly, Apple, Microsoft and Google have failed to realize the massive potential that some of the following "killer" ideas have, so now they are available to Facebook for a small fee. Operators are standing by Mark Zuckerberg to take your order for:
No Regrets! Tattoo Removal Software: Upload a picture of yourself and use the pointer to erase any body art. See how good you would have looked if you hadn't gotten drunk and inked yourself at Panama Beach your sophomore year. Upgrade to No Regrets Plus! and smooth the damage done by body piercing and close gaping holes from earlobe stretchers.

Splooge: Are you too busy at work, often doing more than two things at once? Splooge can reduce the chaos by allowing you to open and work in more than one Windows application at once. Word and Excel? No problem? MSAccess and PowerPoint? Easy. NetMeeting and surfing for porn in your underpants? Only where prohibited by law and your company's open cubicle policies.

iVegan:  Once you have loaded this app onto your mobile device you can stay slim and make a scene all at the same time! Upon entry into Mickey D's, KFC, Burger King etc., the voice of Charlize Theron screams "Meat is Murder! Meat is Murder!" until you leave the restaurant.

Glimnik: Tired of avoiding telemarketers? The problem with most 1-800 blocking systems is they confirm that your phone number is valid, so the companies just keep calling in hopes of finally getting someone who will answer. The Glimnik tool will recognize an incoming 1-800 number and randomly re-route it to a completely different telephone number. After several different attempts all result in connections to different, unrelated households, your number will be removed from the software. Good for avoiding in-laws too.

Stalk Much?: This fun little app randomly selects a new celebrity daily and sends them text messages on your behalf declaring your undying love, how you two are soul mates destined to be together and that if you can't have them no one will. Application is disabled once the Restraining Order is activated.

Phlormp: Is being overweight, out of shape and ashamed of your appearance keeping you from jumping on the Facebook bandwagon? The just let Phlomrp at your profile pictures. A simple "enhancement" application will trim the fat from your face and pounds from your paunch so you can proudly post that profile pic!

Goodbye Cruel World: Plan your own funeral as GCW searches the Internet for the best deals on funeral plots, mourners, cremation services and even discount (or second-hand) coffins.

Creedonk: If you Twitter, and are tired of reading pointless tweets so mundane, not even the Twit's mother (is she a Twatter?) would care? Launch Creedonk and let the catalogue of criticisms such as "Who Cares?", "Get a Life!" and "Close the bathroom door Jerk!" train the Twits to tweet with something worth reading.

Act now Facebook or I might offer the whole store to the Winklevoss Twins!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Can You Pass The Test?

Nine medical associations recently issued an appeal for doctors to change their practice and cease ordering as many as 45 tests they determined were overused. For ages, doctors have worked under the belief that conducting more procedures was the safe approach to care for their patients. However, with increasing costs, and the desire to reduce the trauma unnecessary invasive procedures can cause, practitioners are considering changing their ways.

Among the 45 tests recommended for removal from the standard diagnostic menu are:

  • Tattoo scraping
  • Boob inspection (by non-certified boob inspector) 
  • How many push ups can you do in 1 minute?
  • Keg stands
  • Matching purses to different outfits
  • The Texas Two Step
  • Balancing a chequebook
  • Toe jam analysis
  • Shuttle runs
  • The Donald Trump Gender Check©
  • Redecorating the waiting room
  • Fart sampling

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Final Four Breakup

A Michigan couple is breaking up after The Final Four. Laura Gains and Steve Brundell have been dating for just over nine months but have decided to call it quits after Laura won the NCAA Basketball Tournament pool at the Applebee’s restaurant where they both work. Laura, who has never watched a single college game before correctly selected over 60% of teams in the first round, three of four of the Final Four teams as well as the eventual winner Kentucky. Her ex-boyfriend on the other hand finished a distant 11th in the pool and was out of the running before the Sweet Sixteen.”

“I can’t believe how lucky she is,” said a devastated Brundell. “I spent weeks studying scoring trends, rebound match-ups and conference dominance ratios to identify the upsets. I even built this Monte Carlo simulation model to compare teams by an experience/height algorithm. Then she just swoops in on the last day and picks her whole bracket in five minutes.”

“I don’t understand what he’s so upset about,” responded Gains. “I told him we could share my winnings. Once there were only eight teams left and I had five of them, he wouldn’t stay over anymore. He stopped talking to me on Saturday when his last team Ohio State lost.”

When asked what her secret for picking teams was, the young waitress laughs, “It’s all so silly. I just looked at the teams and picked Blue teams to beat Reds, unless the mascot was a devil, and cats to beat birds, bears to beat sheep and so on.”

“I kept telling her the mascots don’t actually fight,” responded Brundell choking back tears. “But she just kept on telling me an alligator should beat a golden eagle and a bull could beat an owl. But the she said a cardinal could beat a Spartan because it could fly; it doesn’t make sense!”

The couple plans to keep working together but Brundell has not ruled out the possibility of applying at the TDGFriday’s down the street.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Goodbye Penny

The Canadian government has decided to abandon the penny. Citing the need to reduce spending and the fact that it now costs more to produce the 1 cent coin (1.6 cents worth of minerals), the recent federal budget included an end to penny production in 2012. In an effort to stem protest from the loss of the little copper piece, the Conservative government is also eliminating any reference to the tiny currency in popular culture, idioms or any other daily life. Some examples of rigid social engineering include:

  • Edits to common sayings such as “See a nickel; pick it up and all the day you’ll have good luck!”

  • Removal of the opening line “Pennies in a stream,” from the song “Moonlight in Vermont” on “Oldies” radio playlists. The Oscar winning song “Three Coins in the Fountain” will remain unchanged.

  • The expression of a sudden comprehension “The penny drops” will be replaced exclusively with the phrases: “The other shoe drops,” or “Oh, I get it!”

  • The character of Penny from the children’s cartoon “Inspector Gadget” will be superimposed with images of intrepid girl reporter April O’Neil from “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”

  • Engaging someone in conversation with the saying, “Penny for your thoughts” will be responded to by a $500 fine and a terse “Mind your own damn business!”

  • Penny candy (which has not cost a penny since the days when ladies carried parasols) will only be sold by bulk retailers like Costco in units of one dollar. It will be renamed ‘Loonie Candy’ after the iconic Canadian $1 coin.

    big bang penny
  • “Pinching pennies” will go the way of “sound as a pound” but experts predict that “dusting dimes” will become the catchphrase for saving money.

  • The Big Bang Theory’s Penny will have all references to her name deleted for Canadian broadcast and will simply be referred to as Hot Girl, which is actually more in keeping with the main characters’ personalities.