Thursday, August 2, 2012

Where's The Non-Organic Beef?

marion jones olympic gold medal drug steroid scandal
The Olympics are in their sixth day of competition, and so far spectators are asking “Where are the drug scandals?” It’s a fair question since the last five Olympic Games have seen an average of 12 athletes per event test positive. So far at London 2012 only two weightlifters have been sent home, but there are from the former Soviet Bloc and weightlifters so it’s to be expected.

But how are all the swimmers, cyclists and track athlete’s avoiding detection this year? Dogs & Jeans has some ideas:

  • Thinking positive thoughts can have a clean mind cover up for a dirty body.
  • Anti-doping officials have put too much emphasis on only using the pre-testing question: Are you taking any steroids?
  • British food may be horrible but effective at masking drugs.
  • New definition of “performance enhancement” limited only to bedroom activities (wink,wink, nudge, nudge).
  • Installation of “Clean Urine” vending machines in the Olympic Village probably not such a good idea.
  • At the airport, British customs switched all athletes’ drugs with Tic Tacs.
  • Chinese Olympic Officials have reclassified all their supplements as “ginseng”.

    Nari said...

    I do believe you're onto something. When that overly muscular woman asked to buy my urine shortly before the start of the Olympics, I thought nothing of it. I mean, the cash came in handy and I really didn't have any other plans for it.

    Trooper Thorn said...

    Nari: Having it happen during Chess Club should have raised some red flags.

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