A Texas judge is warning citizens to prepare for the worst if President Obama wins re-election. From civil unrest by residents of the state to giving control of America to the UN, Lubbock County Judge Tom Head is trying all manner of fear mongering to prevent locals from voting Democrat in November. Head has gone so far as to produce a brochure entitled “What Could Do Wrong if Obama Wins”:
No more strippers at GOP Conventions
The Federal Reserve will triple interest rates, with additional revenue being given directly to Cuba
Katie Holmes will be required to re-united with Tom Cruise, who will be required to re-unite with Nicole Kidman. Keith Urban will then be obligated to marry Mimi Rogers whose current husband will be forced to join the Pablo Cruise re-union tour
Defeat of the Superfriends by the Legion of Doom
Collapse of the Mayan Empire, again!
The state motto of Texas will be changed to “Come on over and mess with us!”
A ban on Spanx
Every second hospital will be closed and turned into a Soviet-Muslim education facility for our nation’s youth. Won’t someone think about the children?
If you though Perez Hilton was a pain in the ass now, just wait…
Registered Republicans will be automatic organ donors, and death may not be a requirement for harvesting
In an end to sexy, Sofia Vergara will be forced to dress as Lucille Ball in public
The CDC will be produce a new strain of viruses designed to keep Republicans weak while marauding bands of gypsies roam our nation