Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Signs You Live in the Fattest State

Mississippi has topped the list of “Fattest State in America” for another year. Of course, if you observe the following social indicators, it should come to you as surprise that your state is on the heavy size:

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  • Polls show Kim Kardashian is voted your state's favorite "Painfully Underfed Skinny Celebrity"

  • When you book a plane ticket on line, it defaults to “2 seats” when you enter your address.

  • Your state’s Pan Handle is now referred to as a “Love Handle”

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  • The Miss America Contestant from your state is exempt from the swimsuit portion of the competition for reasons of “public decency”

  • The state bird has been changed to “Roast Chicken”


  • When recommending economic cut backs to address the poor economy, the Governor carefully refrains from mentioning “tightening our belts”.

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  • The State Motto is now “Do I Look Fat in This?”

  • The cost of dinner at an All-You-Can-Eat buffet is equivalent to a semester of college.


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