Friday, June 8, 2012

What Makes A Horse?

In a shocking announcement, I’ll Have Another has pulled out of Saturday’s Belmont Stakes race. The three year old had already won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness races and was poised to become the first horse in nearly 40 years to win the Triple Crown. I’ll have Another’s trainer cited an inflamed tendon as the reason for the withdrawal. However, Dogs & Jeans has uncovered the explosive truth.



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Donald Trump, the owner of the Belmont Stakes racing organization has claimed I’ll Have Another violated rules for now being a “naturally born horse”. In a move reminiscent of Trump’s decision earlier this year to disqualify transgender contestant Jenna Talackova from the Miss Canada beauty pageant, a technicality has been used to influence the outcome of an event. She was later re-instated but did not win the title.


“We know that I’ll Have Another was not born a horse,” said an unnamed race official. “We are not sure if he was a mule, zebra or some type of llama, but the decision is still the same. I’ll have another can’t run.”


I'll have another Kentucky Derby Belmont Stakes Preakness
While a spokesman for I’ll Have Another has not denied the allegation, he did say that they would fight the decision on behalf of all trans-species competitors. “Being a thoroughbred is more than a well-chiseled head on a long neck, high withers, a deep chest, a short back, good depth of hindquarters, a lean body, and long legs. It is about being hot-blooded in your heart and in your mind. Sometimes what is on the inside doesn’t match the outer appearance.”

It is not clear if I'll Have Another will be permitted to race in other horse-only events of will be restricted to specialty trans-horse races in the future.

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