The Secret Service is moving swiftly to limit the damage her interview has caused by launching mandatory sensitivity training for all agents before they embark on foreign duty. Dogs & Jeans has obtained some of the highlights from the training material.
- If you and your hooker settle on a price for sex, you are obligated to pay the full amount.
- Performing extras, such as role playing, bondage or human bathmats (that thing where midgets have dreadlocks and the lay face down on the linoleum) is up to the discretion of the lady.
- If you discover your escort is not a genetic female, you are not permitted to physically assault them, not matter how big their junk reveals itself to be.
- Dancing is permitted, however, The Lambada still is considered to be “The Forbidden Dance”
- Consuming a meal together is not necessary, however, dining together does show respect. Consuming a meal off the stomach or lower back of your escort is not discouraged but will likely cost you extra.
- It is perfectly acceptable for you to barter for a discount when including more than one woman in your activities, but you probably won’t be able to negotiate a 2-for-1 deal. Twins will probably cost more than double.
- Keeping your socks on is permissible in Latin America, but keeping your shoulder holster on is considered “bad form".