Monday, May 7, 2012

Secret Service Sensitivity Training

The fallout continues in the wake of the Secret Service prostitution scandal. After the termination of 18 agents for dereliction of duty after they paid for sex while on the job in Colombia, more criticism of the agents and the agency itself is emerging. One of the escorts at the heart of the controversy has now publicly condemned the men as “stupid brutes” after they agreed to pay her for her services only to renege in the morning. However, in light of the type of material previously provided to agents, their behavior is not all that shocking.

sensitivity training seminar
The Secret Service is moving swiftly to limit the damage her interview has caused by launching mandatory sensitivity training for all agents before they embark on foreign duty. Dogs & Jeans has obtained some of the highlights from the training material.

  • If you and your hooker settle on a price for sex, you are obligated to pay the full amount.

  • Performing extras, such as role playing, bondage or human bathmats (that thing where midgets have dreadlocks and the lay face down on the linoleum) is up to the discretion of the lady.

  • If you discover your escort is not a genetic female, you are not permitted to physically assault them, not matter how big their junk reveals itself to be.

  • Consuming a meal together is not necessary, however, dining together does show respect. Consuming a meal off the stomach or lower back of your escort is not discouraged but will likely cost you extra.

  • It is perfectly acceptable for you to barter for a discount when including more than one woman in your activities, but you probably won’t be able to negotiate a 2-for-1 deal. Twins will probably cost more than double.

  • Keeping your socks on is permissible in Latin America, but keeping your shoulder holster on is considered “bad form".


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