Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Newt's Thoughts

political consultants forest rangers mountie lumberjackNewt Gingrich officially announced the end of his campaign for the Republican Party’s nomination on Wednesday. By dropping out and giving his support to Mitt Romney, the former Speaker of the House essentially established the beginning if the actual race for the White House.


Much to Gingrich’s credit, he agreed to have Dogs & Jeans’ Crack Political Consultants hook him up to a brain scanner during the press conference. With this patented technology, we were able to read the thoughts going through his mind as he gave his resignation speech:


  • “I wonder if I can get one of those reality TV shows like Sarah Palin?”
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  • “In hindsight, Rick Perry looks like the smart one for packing it in months ago.”


  • “If only I could’ve tapped into some of that Philip Philips support!”


  • “Is there enough time left to get back into training for the Team Dressage event at the London 2012 Games?”


    Twitter Pic Paulina Gretzky
  • “The Kentucky Derby is this Saturday? I’m going to treat myself to a new hat!”




  • “And I was going to pick David Barton as my running mate too!”


  • “What would Jessica Simpson like for a baby gift?”


    Butterscotch Pudding
  • “Mmm… pudding…”

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