Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Facebook Turns To Crime

In a shocking move, Facebook has adopted a strategy of robbing users to cover losses on the stock market. Just a week after the biggest IPO in history, Facebook shares have now dropped below $30. Experts do not expect this fall to abate any time soon as poor earnings and rumors of price manipulation plague Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

Facebook Bandits robbers home invasionPerhaps as a means to generate more revenue, Facebook staff have begun monitoring posts and status updates and targeting those users with any references to large amounts of cash, new cars, luxury homes or large volumes of consumer electronics. As an example, an Australian family was robbed at home only hours after pictures of a pile of currency was posted. The money represented the grandmother's life savings and was being counted for deposit. Thankfully the bandits arrived at the home of the Facebook account holder, not the grandmother, so they only made off with a small amount of cash.

Police point to the mis-direction of homes as evidence that only confused Facebook insiders could have been involved. FBI officials suspect the Australian robbery was a test before launching a nationwide crime spree in America. Officials are warning all Facebook users to limit any references to money, purchases or home renovations. As well, they recommend you do not post any vacation photos showing you are away from home for an extended period.

"We suspect Facebook staff will be identifying home invasion locations of anyone shown at a beach, hotel or foreign landmark," an unnamed FBI official told Dogs & Jeans. "To make it look like  you are still home, we recommend having a friend post mundane updates in your absence. Just like you have someone collect the mail and turn on lights in your house, have someone post 'Just off to soccer practice,' or '25% of ground beef at Fred Meyer. Woo hoo!' That should keep you under the radar."

When asked to comment on the allegations of Facebook-backed robberies, a spokesman declined to comment asking only, "Who wants to know? What are you, some kinda wise guy? Why I oughta..."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Any fashionable shopping bags support making an individual's temperament from a numerous chanel outlet. And also they strengthen temperament, add more love together with layout to barefoot. Moreover dresses together with jewellries fashionable sacks happen to be the single most necessary products. Those Fashionable shopping bags identify way fact at this time specifying an incomparable popularity. To your most women who want to express a style within their own personal those fashionable shopping bags finished some sort of dress. They're just formulated from superior together with way, love together with as a consequence of all of these things they need end up prominent in the present day. Models have already been using them the item in addition has amplified any development for fashionable shopping bags. They're just constructed can certainly say complimenting an individual's amazing apparel. These are provided in numerous colourings. It is obvious that your color selection for almost all fashionable shopping bags is certainly all natural. Have you notion so why undertake these consist of all natural color selection? It's making sure that these resemble our body face together with some of our layout fact within the dresses. Chanel shopping bags happen to be great superior shopping bags which come during alluring variations, figures, types together with chanel replica. However ,, they're just outrageously expensive; many ladies can’t shop for those shopping bags. However ,, when using the product for synthetic version chanel shopping bags this has been constructed straightforward shop for these types of sacks for an inexpensive.

Hua Cai said...

puma shoes
christian louboutin,louboutin,louboutin outlet,louboutin outlet italia,scarpe louboutin
michael kors uk
thomas sabo
mont blanc
kobe 9
louis vuitton bags
oakley sunglasses
mulberry uk
minnesota vikings jerseys
oakley sunglasses outlet
nike free uk
marc jacobs
ugg boots
north face outlet
true religion jeans, http://www.truereligionjeansoutlet.com
jordan 4
instyler ionic styler
adidas outlet
air jordan 4
louboutin shoes
herve leger
nba jerseys
green bay packers jerseys
polo lacoste pas cher
ray ban sunglasses
cheap ray ban sunglasses
air max 2015
abercrombie and fitch
ralph lauren,polo ralph lauren,ralph lauren outlet,ralph lauren italia,ralph lauren sito ufficiale
new balance 574
ray ban
asics running shoes
tods shoes
toms shoes
2015820caihuali

Meiqing Xu said...

15828meiqing
coach factory outlet
louis vuitton handbags
air max 90
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
air max 90
nike trainers
louis vuitton handbags
coach outlet
coach factorty outlet
michael kors outlet
lebron james shoes 2015
louis vuitton
hollister clothing
pandora charms
black timberland boots
tory burch sale
coach factory outlet online
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
kate spade outlet
michael kors outlet
oakley sunglass
cheap jerseys
instyler curling iron
pandora jewelry
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
abercrombie
abercrombie and fitch
marc jacobs
michael kors outlet
adidas superstar shoes
louis vuitton
louis vuitton outlet
abercrombie & fitch
nike trainers uk
barbour coats
lebron james basketball shoes
polo ralph lauren

Jian Zhuo said...

ugg australia
ugg boots
mulberry purse
fitflops
cheap jerseys
jordan shoes
yeezy boost
the north face
coach factory outlet
louis vuitton
20170109

chenmeinv0 said...

adidas yeezy boost 350
louboutin femme
timberland boots
polo ralph lauren
toms shoes for women
gucci outlet online
louis vuitton handbags
moncler jacket
toms wedges
ray ban outlet
2017.1.19xukaimin

Unknown said...

ralph lauren
louis vuitton borse
louis vuitton uk
michael kors outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
puma outlet
tiffany jewellery
cheap ray ban sunglasses
uggs outlet
ralph lauren uk
chanyuan2017.02.10