Friday, February 24, 2012

Words On Fire

Islamic fundamentalists, outraged by the burning of copies of the Quran, have responded by burning books sacred to Westerners. Unlike previous protests which have featured burning Holy Bibles, the protestors have done their homework. “We realize that most American’s do not hold the pages of their chritian book to be sacred as we do,” said Cleric Ali Mohammed Ali. “They may revere their God, but the book itself is not seen as being the actual vessel of his holy word as we do.”

So in response, Afghan crowds have begun burning material that will truly incense the West. “We began with setting fire to TV Guide, but quickly realized that American’s no longer honor the book because of PVRs,” said Ali. Demonstrators quickly moved onto other texts determined to inflame the passions of viewers in North America. Across Kabul piles of “Twilight”, “The Help”, “O” magazine and the “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition” can be seen sending up columns of smoke.

When asked where they go from here, Imam Ali responded, “We are expecting a huge shipment of Janet Evanovich and Sophie Kinsella books from The whole Stephanie Plum series plus all the Shopaholics. We are very excited!”

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