Thursday, February 9, 2012

What To Do With Your $2000

If you were one of the thousands of Americans who were improperly foreclosed upon, the President’s announcement on home mortgage relief comes as good news. Not only will banks be forced to provide refinancing terms for people struggling to maintain their payments, but people who suffered “mortgage abuse” will receive a $2000 check for damages. You can out this money towards rent, food, a car payment, a hospital bill, your child’s education or something really fun:



  • A new tattoo
  • 20 or so Nano Quadrotor Drones to swarm those kids who keep cutting across the lawn.
  • Oversized rims for your minivan
  • Trademarking your children’s names (especially if one of them is called Blue Ivy)
  • One thousand Powerball lottery tickets
  • The complete boxed set of Anna Nicole Smith DVD’s (not including “Skyscraper”)
  • One of those fancy Tassimo coffee makers, and some burn ointment.
  • The new iPad3 now loaded with the Jamie Lynn Spears Home Pregnancy Test app.
  • Katy Perry’s re-released “Teenage Dream” (just in case you haven’t heard her music enough to make your ears bleed)
  • Tattoo removal

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