Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Santorum's Dictionary

Rick Santorum reading book library dictionary
In light of the comment made by Republican leadership candidate Rick Santorum (and graduate of both Penn State and the University of Pittsburgh) that President Obama is a snob for wanting Americans to obtain a college education, Dogs and Jeans had a closer look at the definitions contained within the former Pennsylvania senator’s dictionary:

Advantage: The overwhelming improvement to quality of life that comes from simply completing a middle school education.

Benefit: A positive result of hard work that improves a person’s living conditions, but only within the class structure they currently occupy.

Dissatisfaction: The basic human emotional condition that can be exploited to gain power.

Elitist: Those persons with a library card.

Hope: The unrealistic expectation that a person living below a middle class income could have access to quality health care.

Hypocrite: The oath doctors take that has something to do with being able to sleep with their co-workers without consequences like they do on "Gray's Anatomy".

Liberal: See “Terrorist”

Paganism: The understanding that events in the Bible may not have occurred exactly as described.

Privilege: The condition of being able to afford both food and rent at the same time

Right: The freedom to marry the person you love, but only if they have the opposite genitalia (and not surgically altered willies and hoo-has either!)

Vision: The ability to see the world as it is and say, “I told you so.”


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