Santorum's Dictionary

In light of the comment made by Republican leadership candidate Rick Santorum (and graduate of both Penn State and the University of Pittsburgh) that President Obama is a snob for wanting Americans to obtain a college education, Dogs and Jeans had a closer look at the definitions contained within the former Pennsylvania senator’s dictionary:



Advantage: The overwhelming improvement to quality of life that comes from simply completing a middle school education.


Benefit: A positive result of hard work that improves a person’s living conditions, but only within the class structure they currently occupy.


Dissatisfaction: The basic human emotional condition that can be exploited to gain power.


Elitist: Those persons with a library card.


Hope: The unrealistic expectation that a person living below a middle class income could have access to quality health care.

Hypocrite: The oath doctors take that has something to do with being able to sleep with their co-workers without consequences like they do on "Gray's Anatomy".


Liberal: See “Terrorist”


Paganism: The understanding that events in the Bible may not have occurred exactly as described.


Privilege: The condition of being able to afford both food and rent at the same time


Right: The freedom to marry the person you love, but only if they have the opposite genitalia (and not surgically altered willies and hoo-has either!)


Vision: The ability to see the world as it is and say, “I told you so.”