Monday, February 27, 2012

Oscar Fashion

Just like the celebrities, I performed several outfit changes during the course of the Academy Awards presentation. Here’s a run-down:

Red Carpet Portion: I had been installing a new range microwave in the kitchen, so my Red Carpet ensemble consisted of my work jeans with the hole in the crotch and my Notre Dame t-shirt with the paint splatters. My grey work socks were by Wal-Mart.

Opening Monologue: Just got out of the shower I had not had a chance to put my “show clothes” on but I decided to abandon the terry robe and go with a more daring towel-around-the-waist look.

Best Supporting Actor/Actress Awards: For time spent between cooking hors d’oeuvres in the kitchen (in the new microwave) and getting a fire going in the fireplace, I went for a more casual faded Levi’s matched with a Batman T-shirt from Old Navy. Overspray from a beer can momentarily caused me to consider a pants change, but a quick dab with a cloth remedied the situation.

Technical Awards Portion: As none of this interested me (other than the scintillating explanation of the voting process by the boys from Price Waterhouse Coopers), I used the lull in the festivities to throw on a plain grey hoodie and pick up dog crap in the back yard.

Stars We Have Lost This Year: The spring rolls, pot stickers and oriental chicken nuggets had cooled sufficiently to enjoy. The hoodie was gone but on my feet were some tube socks that had not quite made it to the hamper. Laundry tomorrow.

Musical Awards: I spilled plum sauce on my Batman shirt so I replaced it with a navy blue one that said “San Diego” that my parents brought back after a trip three years ago.

The Big Three Awards: Feet too hot. Socks on floor. One last beer.

Jimmy Kimmel After Show: Snacks and beer cleaned up. I changed into flannel PJ bottoms with a red plaid pattern. It didn’t really match the T-shirt, but I’d be taking it all off anyway after I brushed my teeth.

Thank God Awards Season is over.

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