Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Obama's Broken Promises

President Obama will speak to the nation tonight in his annual State of Union address. Perhaps no speech to Congress has been more important for the President who faces an uncertain re-election prospect this November. Amid new initiatives for economic reform, education and health care, Obama will also come under fire for failed promises he made in past years' addresses.

Some commitments he has been unable to keep, such as reducing unemployment and closing the Guantanamo Bay facility, are easy to spot. Some pledges, however, were more obscure and it will not come as a shock that the President could not fulfil them:

Unkept Vows:
  • Recognize that butter tarts are a unique desert despite their resemblance to pies and celebrate them on a separate event from National Pie Day.
  • Cure baldness.
  • Find the real killer of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.
  • Floss everyday!
  • Convince Stephen Bochco to put his short-lived musical drama "Cop Rock" back on TV.
  • Gain enough support for the WNBA to make it at least as popular as professional hockey.
  • Really get his abs to "pop" once and for all!
  • Build a dam somewhere. Every President needs a dam.
  • Finally get around to watching the "Lord of The Rings" trilogy.
  • Bring Nova Scotia into the Union as the 51st state.
  • Figure out how to resurrect Whitney Huston's career.

4 comments:

Michelle said...

I almost didn't read this post because I didn't want to get all fired up but I'm so glad I did. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is so important and he totally blew it.

Patty said...

This was HILARIOUS! Thanks for perking up my day!

Trooper Thorn said...

Michelle: Way to stick it out like a Champion!

Patty: Thanks. I'm in the perking up business.

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