Monday, January 9, 2012

Let's Excite the GOP Race!

Directors on The Republican Leadership Committee is concerned the American public has grown bored with the current race to pick a new Presidential Candidate. As the candidates prepare for this week's New Hampshire Primary, numbers are down for both the televised debates and voter registration. Fears that this trend will continue without controversial candidates like Michelle Bachmann and Herman Cain and as Mitt Romney increases his lead.

Desperate to re-capture people's imagination, the Committee has been entertaining nearly all options to re-invigorate the campaign:
  • Have President Obama support Rick Santorum.
  • How about doing something on MySpace? All the kids are using the MySpace!
  • Hire a streaker or a sniper at future debates.
  • Candidate bungee jumping.
  • Have Tim Tebow win it for Tim Pawlenty in overtime.
  • Free kittens for everyone!
  • If Kelly Clarkson will sing for Ron Paul, maybe Cher will sing a song for Newt Gingrich.
  • Parachute the candidates into North Korea with orders to assassinate Kim Jong-un.
  • How about a bake sale? Who doesn't love a bake sale?
  • Whoever wins the leadership will also get to marry a Kardashian of their choosing.


Julianna said...

I'm supporting the bungee jumping.

Particularly for Romney. His effects are still being felt here in MA, long after he became the "professional" politician that he is now.

Trooper Thorn said...

Julianna: I think that is what is referred to as a 'legacy'.

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