Captain Distracted?

This weekend's disastrous capsizing of a luxury cruise liner in Italy shocked the world. Thankfully the loss of life has been low, considering the potential sinking ship of this size could have. Experts have wondered how the captain could have misjudged his location by as much as four miles. After his arrest for manslaughter, he has given several different reasons for his being so negligently distracted:

• Have you seen Kate Beckinsale's cat suit in the new Underworld movie?
• He put money on the Knicks. Again!
• Could not decide to give up Mark Sanchez or Tim Tebow from his Fantasy League.
• With these gas prices, shaving off every travel mile helps.
• Can't think of what to get Betty White for her 90th birthday.

• What's up with the new Facebook re-design?
• Too busy catching up on episodes of Zooey Deschanel's "New Girl".
• Was confused and thought he was actually an 'Undercover Boss" and not a real boss.