Sandusky's Inappropriate Motivation

Embattled coach Jerry Sandusky has waived his right to a preliminary hearing, opting to go straight to a trial. With luck, he will reconsider and decide to forgo a trial and go straight to the sentencing. Sandusky could do everyone a favor and keep this momentum going; rather than languish in prison for the rest of his life, he could save the taxpayers millions by just going straight to Hell, instead where according to The Devil, even Sandusky's crimes are overwhelming.

Due to his years in football, the accused sexual molester cannot help but pepper his speech with sports cliches, vowing he will "fight for four quarters." His lawyers are having a very difficult time keeping control of the the former Penn State defensive coordinator, considering that many football expressions are completely inappropriate when referring to the exploitation and rape of at least 10 boys over a period of 12 years. Here are a sampling of some of the analogies his lawyers have forbidden him from using, as they may be misleading, graphic, offensive or remind potential jurors of the nature of his crimes:

• "Pound it out on the ground"
• "These fans deserve a winner"
• "Smash him in the mouth"
• "Just go out and execute" (since Pennsylvania is a Death Penalty state)
• "Split the uprights"
• "Deep penetration"
• "Take it to the Big House"
• "Run it right up the gut"
• "Be a real gun-slinger"
• "Hit him right in the numbers"
• "The officials could call holding on every play"
• "Going mano a mano"
• "Nail in the coffin"
• "Getting an old-fashioned woodshed whippin'"
• "This could get ugly"