Thursday, November 24, 2011

What's On The Food Network?

One of the most popular specialty networks on cable TV is The Food Network. With a wide menu of programs ranging from "Ace of Cakes" to "What Would Brian Boitano Make?", a person would think the network had produced every cooking-related show possible. But that person would be wrong. Coming next season are some new culinary offerings to amaze and astound viewers:
  • Republican Chili Cookoff: Special dispensation has been given to provide 10 extra votes in the 2012 Electoral College to the winner of this contest. Filmed at John MCCain's Arizona hideaway, GOP candidates will compete to brew a pot of the spiciest Mexi-style chili this side of the Rio Grande all the while participating in a weekly debate style elimination from the mansion. Let the open-mic gaffs, petty squabbling and spicy sexual tension begin!

  • Who Can Eat This Alien Skull?: Top chefs submit recipe ideas for boiling, baking or broiling alien artifacts from around the world. Tune in to see which wine goes best with extra-terrestrial goulash!

  • Occupy Kitchen!: Ever wonder what campers in the Occupy Movement eat? Then wonder no more. Each week, viewers will be treated to a variety of dishes made with 'food' garnered from some of North America's best dumpsters. Learn how to turn yesterday's expired yogurt and tainted egg salad into today's al fresco feast!

  • Topless Chef: Every week, a new celebrity will prepare their favorite meals wearing nothing but an apron. Guest appearances are kept top-secret until the moment of broadcast. That way viewers will be on the edge of their seat hoping for John Hamm or Mila Kunis, but instead might get celebrity couple Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman.

  • Muppets Cook!: The Swedish Chef isn't the only Muppet character at home in the kitchen. Miss Piggy, Fozie Bear and of course Bert & Ernie are all accomplished cooks. When the Muppets cook, stuffing takes on a whole new meaning!
Remember you heard it first at Dogs & Jeans!


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