Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Signs You're Justin Bieber's Love Child

Reports are exploding across the airwaves and newsstands today that Justin Bieber fathered a child with a 19 year old fan. Mariah Yater, the now 20 year-old mom, claims she and the teen singer had a brief tryst (perhaps as brief as 30 seconds) while backstage after one of his concerts. Despite the that Bieber's then age of 16 would open her up to statutory rape charges, Yater's lawyers are asking Bieber for a paternity test and the subsequent support that would come from a positive result.

This is likely the first of many claims against young Justin if his fame continues to increase over the years. Dogs & Jeans has developed an inexpensive and simple set of criteria people can use down the road to determine if you might be Justin Bieber's Love Child:
  • You are completely incapable of growing a beard, moustache or pubic hair of any type.
  • You are a better dancer than a white person should be.
  • People say you are the exact opposite of Charles Bronson.
  • You are always surrounded by a faint aroma of maple syrup.
  • You have often been mistaken for an elf.
  • None of the Kardashians will marry you, even briefly.
  • You are chosen as Baby Jesus for the Christmas pageant, and you're 32.
  • You are the best hockey player in town and never had a single lesson.
  • When you drive, even the brake pedals in a SmartCar are too far away.
  • Your favorite reading material is "Teen Beat".
  • No matter how much you drink, you can't get "And I was like baby, baby, baby oh, like baby, baby, baby no, like baby, baby, baby oh," out of your head.
Nov 16 Update: Mariah Yeater has dropped her paternity claim against Bieber. Oh, and her lawyers have fired her. And she smells kind of funny too.

5 comments:

chuanqi huang said...

If your puppy chanel replica is walking beside you on a loose leash, give him plenty of praise and perhaps a goody. When he strains on the leash, stop immediately. Do not yank him back over to you with the leash. Call him back to you and praise him when he comes. Never keep walking if your pup is stressing on the chanel replica handbags leash -- this only reinforces his bad habit and rewards his replica chanel behavior. When you stop when your puppy starts stressing on the leash

Minko Chen said...

denver broncos
ugg boots clearance,ugg australia,uggs on sale,ugg slippers,uggs boots,uggs outlet,ugg boots,ugg,uggs
abercrombie and fitch
beats by dre
lululemon pants
philadelphia eagles
mont blanc pens
supra shoes
cheap ugg boots
michael kors uk
michael kors handbags clearance
hermes outlet store
gucci outlet
cyber monday deals
ray ban,rayban,occhiali ray ban,ray-ban,ray ban occhiali,ray ban sunglasses
ray-ban sunglasses
polo shirts
lacoste shirts
michael kors wallet sale
1103MINKO

John said...

polo ralph lauren
louis vuitton handbags
cheap oakley sunglasses
hollister outlet
canada goose outlet
ray ban sunglasses
jordan retro
true religion outlet
pandora outlet
cheap nfl jerseys
timberland outlet
michael kors handbags
coach factory outlet online
kobe 9
coach outlet store online
coach outlet
michael kors bag
ray ban sunglasses outlet
uggs outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
coach factory outlet
jordan 11 concord
louis vuitton handbags
polo ralph lauren outlet
adidas originals
michael kors handbags
kids lebron shoes
replica watches
air max uk
gucci outlet
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
tory burch outlet
christian louboutin shoes
louis vuitton handbags
celine handbags
uggs outlet
20151229yuanyuan

风骚达哥 said...

20160319 junda
marc jacobs outlet
running shoes
true religion jeans
christian louboutin outlet
hollister
lululemon sale
michael kors outlet
converse shoes
toms outlet
polo outlet
chi flat iron
michael kors handbags
converse uk
supra shoes
reebok pump
michael kors outlet
ray ban sunglass
christian louboutin
louboutin pas cher
ralph lauren uk
oakley sunglasses discount
coach factory outlet
longchamp
instyler max
designer handbags
timberland outlet
toms wedges
ed hardy outlet
burberry outlet
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
ghd flat iron
coach outlet clearance
christian louboutin
polo ralph lauren
rolex watches
canada goose outlet
rolex submariner
coach factory outlet
nike free runs

Xiaozhengm 520 said...

2016-4-11 xiaozhengm
beats headphones
oakley vault
michael kors handbags
nike outlet
cheap jordan shoes
michael kors outlet
coach outlet
jordan 8
kate spade
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton handbags
toms shoes outlet online
hollister kids
nike air huarache
fitflops sale clearance
jordan retro
coach outlet
louis vuitton
christian louboutin outlet
tory burch outlet
oakley outlet
louis vuitton outlet
cheap jordan shoes
michael kors handbags
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors outlet online
kate spade outlet
toms shoes
michael kors
ray ban sunglasses
coach outlet online
ray bans
coach factory
ray ban sunglasses
nike trainers
ray ban outlet
michael kors handbags
true religion jeans
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton