60 Minutes failed to report on other soft corruption instances, citing lack of evidence. Thankfully Dogs & Jeans is not hampered by such pesky journalistic details such as 'facts' and 'ethics'!
Here are some of the top Soft Corruption schemes employed by Congress:
- Find an overrated celebrity-wannabe, have them film a grainy "sex tape" then stage a fake wedding while charging every media outlet millions for the rights to cover the event.
- Vampire movies! Lots and lots of vampire movies!
- Implement user fees for birth control (only applies to Jessie James at this point).
- European drug companies use "creative financing" that promise high returns. How about some equally creative legislation to help them out?
- Start a company with the word 'green' in the name, like "Green Streets", "Everlasting Greenways" or "Mrs. Henderson's Green Airlines and Fruit Pies". Pass legislation the provides million dollar grants to companies investing in environmental research. The one criteria to determine if their work qualifies for a "renewable energy" bonus million dollar grant is if the word 'green' is used in the business name.
- Dogs & Jeans Million Dollar Ideas.
- Invest in a tent manufacturing company. Allow people to camp out in major US cities for weeks and weeks. Invest in fire hoses and head lice treatments for when the whole "Occupy" movement comes crashing down.
- Require a $10,000 deposit for anyone wanting to join the queue of Herman Cain sexual harassment accusers.