Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Facebook To Print Currency

Facebook is expected to seek investment soon with a public IPO. Experts predict a stock valuation at over $100 billion which would make Facebook the wealthiest corporation on the planet. Pretty good for a company that doesn't actually make or sell anything!


But that may all change soon.


With such an infusion of money, Facebook will hold the majority of American cash forcing the National Treasury to default due to it's inability to back up it's legal tender. As the de facto holder of America's funds, Facebook is planning to issue its own currency into circulation. The basic unit of money will be the "Zuck" which would be roughly equivalent to a single US dollar prior to the current recession. 100 Zucks will be called a "Z-Berg".

Being the paragon's of economic efficiency, the financial experts at Facebook realize there is little need for much coinage for units less than a Zuck. They will issue only two types of coin: the "Like" which is worth 1/10th of a Zuck, and a 1/100th coin known as a 'Winklevoss".

The company plans to introduce its currency virtually on Facebook first in much the same way "World of Warcraft" has its own fantasy money. Facebook users will be issued with an allowance with which they can purchase apps and upgrades. It is intended that this will acclimate people to using the Zuck prior to putting it into general circulation.

Not to be outdone, Google is undertaking plans to launch it's own currency in Europe, beginning with a complete purchase of the nation of Greece. The "Goog" is expected to take over from the floundering Euro in 2013. Dogs and Jeans tried to contact Tom from MySpace for a comment but his phone had been disconnected.

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