Monday, November 21, 2011

American Yard Sale!

Everything must go! With the failure of the Congressional Supercommittee, the USA is over budget and we're passing the savings on to you!!!! Congress must slash spending on entire departments meaning you can pick up pieces of America at low, low prices!

Looking for a new ride? We have a fleet of Presidential Escalades, fully loaded and bullet proof ready to roll off the Whitehouse parking lot. How jealous will your neighbors be when you drive up in one of these sleek, black babies?!

We've discounted some of our most precious national resources: celebrities! Imagine how your next party would be the talk of the neighborhood when attended by Loni Anderson or Henry Winkler. We've got Lisa Kudrow, Tom Selleck and Jessica Simpson and they're priced to move! (Note: Celebrities must be purchased as is, not in the condition you remember)

Have you been searching for that perfect accent piece to finish off your home or garden decoration? The US Parks service has a catalogue of national monuments just for you? The grace of the Jefferson Memorial! The majesty of the Washington Monument! Nothing turns on the ladies like that big statue of Honest Abe!

Want military hardware? We've got tanks! We've got jets! We've got guns, guns and more guns? Thinking about a fishing trip? Catch that record bass or trout in a a slightly used Iowa-class battleship!

So don't delay. Help out your country and get that government issued merchandise you've always dreamed of! Come on down to Congressional Overstock, just off Independence Avenue in downtown Washington D.C.

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