Dogs & Jeans, being the suspicious SOB's we are, did not buy her explanation. Through some top-notch investigative journalism, we have uncovered the real reasons behind Ms. Palin's decision to stay on the side lines, at least for now:
- In a dream, Jesus told her she will remove a magical sword from a stone and become Queen.
- She lost her entire campaign fund in the stock market.
- She is holding out for a really good position from Obama's job bill, something like Wal-Mart greeter, stadium maintenance worker or shepherd.
- She confused herself with Michele Bachmann and already thought she was in the race.
- She is already committed to training Bristol for a second round of Dancing With The Stars.
- She is still devastated that NBC cancelled "The Playboy Club" right before her special guest appearance as Miss February 1965, Jessica Saint George.
- She is preparing for the next election in 2013.