Thursday, October 6, 2011

Why Palin Won't Run

After months of public appearances, election interfering, reality TV show episodes and general manipulation of public opinion, Sarah Palin has finally announced she will not seek the Presidency in 2012. Citing her commitment to her family as her top priority, the former Alaskan governor maintained her desire to change America and did not rule out a bid in the future.

Dogs & Jeans, being the suspicious SOB's we are, did not buy her explanation. Through some top-notch investigative journalism, we have uncovered the real reasons behind Ms. Palin's decision to stay on the side lines, at least for now:
  • sarah palin wicked queenShe believes President Obama will appoint her to an advisory committee like the other hotties like Shakira and Eva Longoria.
  • In a dream, Jesus told her she will remove a magical sword from a stone and become Queen.
  • She lost her entire campaign fund in the stock market.
  • She is holding out for a really good position from Obama's job bill, something like Wal-Mart greeter, stadium maintenance worker or shepherd.
  • She confused herself with Michele Bachmann and already thought she was in the race.
  • sarah palin sexy playboy playmate stripper
  • Her fantasy football league takes up all her spare time.
  • She is already committed to training Bristol for a second round of Dancing With The Stars.
  • She is still devastated that NBC cancelled "The Playboy Club" right before her special guest appearance as Miss February 1965, Jessica Saint George.
  • She is preparing for the next election in 2013.

7 comments:

Ed said...

She's crazy, but I'd still do her.

Trooper Thorn said...

Ed: Seriously? You would?

Anonymous said...

Thanks again, KW. A comic strip sounds very appealing...too bad that newspapers are disappearing
English Bulldog Puppies for sale

best iPhone 6 waterproof cases said...

It would be a good idea for Apple to still offer a 4-inch option because that way they do not alienate those that would rather have a smaller iPhone. Having the choice of three sizes would surely help sales, especially if the smallest of the three had a more economical price.

Meiqing Xu said...

1573meiqinng
michael kors outlet
coach outlet stores
timberland boots
ray ban sunglasses outlet
ed hardy outlet
oakley store
retro 9
ray ban sunglasses uk
coach handags
toms outlet
ed hardy clothing
burberry outlet
oakley sunglasses
ray ban sungalsses
tods shoes
chanel outlet
jeremy scott shoes
jordan 13
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
rolex watches outlet
retro 11
coach factory outlet
toms promo code
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton outlet
hollister jeans
fitflop footwear
ray ban uk
lebron james basketball shoes
burberry sale
air jordan retro
tory burch flats
fake oakleys
cheap jordans
gucci outlet
michael kors handbags
longchamp handbags
coach outlet
chanel bags

Hua Cai said...

timberland shoes
air jordan shoes
ugg boots, http://www.cheapuggboots.net.co
replica handbags
valentino shoes
ralph lauren outlet
giuseppe zanotti
roshe run men
iphone 6 plus cases
michael kors uk
ray ban sunglasses online
michael kors canada, http://www.michaelkorsoutletcanada.in.net
chanel outlet
toms shoes
oakland raiders jerseys
miami dolphins jerseys
nike trainers
oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglassescanada.com
cheap oakley sunglasses
ralph lauren
gucci handbags
hollister clothing
discount oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglassesdiscount.us.com
karen millen dresses
mont blanc outlet
louis vuitton outlet
true religion jeans, http://www.truereligionjean.in.net
hollister uk
karen millen uk
ray-ban sunglasses, http://www.ray-bansunglassess.in.net
air jordan 11
foamposite shoes
nfl jerseys
ugg boots, http://www.uggsoutlet.us.org
bottega veneta outlet
2015820caihuali

Meiqing Xu said...

15828meiqing
louis vuitton
louis vuitton
michael kors outlet
hollister clothing
mcm handbags
jordan 8s
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton handbags
nike huaraches
abercrombie
replica watches
oakley sunglasses
true religion jeans
coach outlet store online
ugg boots outlet
christian louboutin
coach outlet
nike huarache
louis vuitton outlet
hollister
hollister kids
barbour jackets
louis vuitton handbags
abercrombie fitch
michael kors handbags
nike sb shoes
gucci outlet
cheap uggs
replica watches
coach outlet store online
burberry outlet online
abercrombie outlet
ray ban glasses
pandora charms
louis vuitton handbags
uggs on sale
mont blanc
ghd hair straighteners
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors handbags