Thursday, October 13, 2011

Who Is Herman Cain?

With his surprising surge in popularity, Herman Cain has gone from "also-ran" to "front-runner" in the race to win the GOP nomination. Conservative voters seem to connect with his no-nonsense, plain speaking style. If he is able to fund raise aggressively over the next few months, Cain might actually be a threat to Obama in his Presidential re-election.


Cain’s own PR claims his message resonates because he describes the American reality, and his down-to-earth personal tale of hope and hard work is both unforgettable and inspirational.


“When Herman Cain speaks, people listen. When he debates, he wins. When Mr Bigglesworth gets angry, people die!”


Wikipedia may not have all the answers to the question: “Who is the real Herman Cain?” Dogs & Jeans’ Crack Investigative Squad rolled up their sleeves and got to the bottom of some of the rumors.


Successful Author:
A simple Amazon search brings up several titles attributed to Herman Cain:


They Think You're Stupid: Cain explains why the Democrats lost the support of Americans during the last set of mid-terms and lays out a plan for Republicans to keep it.


CEO of Self: You're in Charge!: The manual coins several leadership terms including:
  • Harvesting Success Opportunities
  • The Leadership Zone
  • Triumphant Finger Pointing; and
  • The Blame Game of Destiny


Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret: Margaret just wants to fit in! Who is God, and where is He when she needs Him? She begins to look into the cups of her training bra for answers.


Businessman:
As CEO, Herman Cain transformed Godfather’s Pizza from a company teetering on the verge of bankruptcy into a household word. However he did have some pizza ideas that were flops:
  • The Boxless Pizza
  • 2 for 1: 1 Pizza for the price of 2
  • Stuffed Spaghetti Pizza
  • All You Can Eat Take-Out
Dancer:
While he is one of only a handful of Americans who has not appeared on Dancing With The Stars, Mr Cain can be seen as one of the back-up dancers in Young MC’s video “Principal’s Office”.



Educator:
Herman Cain has travelled extensively leading seminars and lecturing at conferences. The best of these can be found at your local bookstore under the following titles:


Leadership is Common Sense: Cain critiques the leadership styles of a wide range of past and present leaders, from civil rights activists to U.S. Presidents to corporate entrepreneurs to personal heroes.


Speak as a Leader: Develop the Better Speaker in You: Cain explains how to develop your leadership speaking ability using easy concepts and detailed analyses of great speeches.


Put Down the Seat and Wash Your Hands!: Cain covers basic bathroom etiquette from several standpoints: expected social norms, effective time management and basic hygiene.


Radio Personality:
He hosts a popular conservative Atlanta-area radio talk show called The Herman Cain Show. He also is a frequent contributor to NPR’s All Things Considered Dull and the Internet web-cast Herman Cain’s Comedy Caravan and Spoof Spectacle.


There is currently no foundation to the speculation that this week's Blackberry service outage was due to a misunderstanding about a nick-name Cain has for an anatomical feature. Nor is there any truth to the rumor that he and veteran English actor Michael Caine are related even though they both share the same birth family name of "Micklewhite".

With such a varied background, Cain should make the 2012 Election one of the most interesting in history.






2 comments:

Nari said...

Though that gave me many answers, it has definitely led to some interesting questions...did Margaret ever find God?...and was bathroom etiquette a stepping stone to her finding Him?

As they say, cleanliness is next to...Hey, was that Cain's too?

Trooper Thorn said...

Nari: Actually he is credited with saying, "Half a truth is often a great lie but an ommision of truth is no lie at all."