Wednesday, October 26, 2011

What Do The Occupiers Want?

With the "Occupy Wall Street" movement entering it's third week, the public has many questions. Actually, there is really only one question people ask as the rallies spill over to "Occupy Chicago", "Occupy Atlanta", "Occupy Terre Haute" and other cities across North America: "What do they want?"

So far the "leaderless" protests have provided vague responses to reporters questions ranging from "reducing corporate greed" to "restoring the voice of the 99%". These are slogans which might look good on an Old Navy T-shirt or iPad sticker, but don't provide any concrete answers.

Dogs & Jeans sent their Crack Popular Culture Mavens to the tent city to find out what The Occupiers really want:
  • Facebook to implement an "Underpants Status" feature
  • to find out who ate the damn pizza rolls!
  • information on the whereabouts of Casey Anthony
  • A BCS championship playoff system.
  • a bath
  • A flu vaccine that also whitens teeth

  • more screen time for NFL cheerleaders
  • For people to stop calling them 'homeless'. The have apartments and dorm rooms but choose to make a statement by sleeping in the park.
  • The next GI Joe movie to be released already!
  • Tony LaRussa and the Cardinals coaching staff to get iPhones before Game 6.
  • Another day added to February. This day will be devoted to the playing of Angry Birds.
  • More macrame outfits.

Nov 1 Update: Thanks to our friends over at The Chive for providing this great photo response to the Occupiers from one of America's Finest:

4 comments:

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