Monday, October 31, 2011

Serendipitous Halloween News

Sometimes the Universe turns the gears in its magnificent and mystical machinery and aligns several events at once. When this happens, the blogophere benefits greatly, both in the ease of producing posts without putting effort into pesky details like writing anything original and by generating random hits from people Googling any one of the topics in the article.

Today is one of those coincidental convergences. It's Halloween, a subject rife with Internet traffic searching for costume ideas ranging from stupid and gross to sexy and slutty. In political news, a new poll puts former GOP darling Michele Bachmann in dead last in the nomination race while in the world of entertainment, reality TV star Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce from her husband of only 74 days. Mix these tidbits together in a witch's cauldron and you get the following posting:

Kim's Costumes Help Bachmann Get Back:
Reality TV star Kim Kardashian is reaching out to Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann. Just a day after announcing her divorce from pro basketball player Kris Humphries, the celebrity is moving forward in her life by getting involved in politics. Upon learnign that Ms. Bachmann is now trailing other candidates in recent poles and fast losing the support of her Tea Party base, Kardashian is lending her assistance as a stylist. She has pulled out her old Halloween costumes and is recommending the Minnesota Congresswoman wear one to put some life back into her nomination campaign.

Kim believes that anyone of the following Halloween outfits will show voters just how "fun and sexy" politics can be:

Princess Jasmin:

Bachmann may not be able to deliver on 'A Whole New World' as Jasmin's signature song says, but she could get some mileage from a whole new campaign, a campaign where bare midriffs are all the rage. This costume has the added bonus of showing Bachmann's sensitivity to Arab culture.

Wonder Woman:
All the world's waiting for you,
and the power you possess.
In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.
To paraphrase President Clinton, "There's nothing wrong in America that can't be fixed by what's campy in America." Bachmann will also be able to appeal to the comic book nerd vote.

Sexy Pirate:
Who wouldn't walk the plank for a presidential pirate with such a bountiful treasure chest?

Queen of Hearts:
Dressed like this, Bachmann will turn any candidate debate into a 'win' with her simple answer of "Off With Their Heads" in response to any question about tax reform, health care or foreign policy.

None of the other candidates has yet shown much support for the military. Bachmann could paint herself as the "Armed Forces Candidate" using a variety of scanty costumes in army, navy, air force and marine themes. Ma'am, Yes Ma'am!