Monday, October 24, 2011

Republican Flip-Flops

In an example of “the cooking vessel calling the water boiling unit devoid of light”, Michele Bachmann has accused Herman Cain of reversing his stand on the issues of abortion and same sex marriage. Given the tenuous state of world peace and the faltering US economy, it’s beyond comprehension why someone would include in their campaign rhetoric any mention of a topic as trivial and irrelevant as regulating who can marry whom. (In Mr. Cain’s defense, he didn’t exactly contradict himself on abortion; he said he personally supported the right to life of the unborn but did not feel it was the role of the state to prevent ending a pregnancy under the circumstances of rape or incest.) How refreshing to find a politician who might actually feel that some things are not the government’s business.



Once Dogs & Jeans climbed down from our soapbox, we uncovered many reversals of opinion by nearly all the Republican leadership contenders, Ms. Bachmann included. In the interests of Equal Time and fair play, we felt they should be presented to the voter:


Ron Paul: At a rally in new Hampshire declared that “Good things come in small packages” but at a candidate forum in Iowa said “Good things come to those who wait.” The American people need a president who knows exactly how good things come.


Newt Gingrich: In an Op/Ed piece he wrote in the Miami Herald in March, the former House Speaker opined “He who hesitates is lost.” However in a speech to supporters in Colorado, Gingrich urged caution suggesting that ‘Haste Makes Waste”. Leadership based on both positions would be inexorably crippled by indecision.


Mitt Romney: Vacillations of opinion by the front runner in the nomination race have been all the more bizarre since his attempts to shed his stiff image and appeal to the youth vote have caused him to contradict himself using the lyrics of popular rap and hip-hop songs. At a Wisconsin town hall meeting, he said he would focus on the economy as president because “I got my mind on my money, my money on my mind.” However, at a rally in New Jersey, Romney seemed unconcerned with the economy when he quoted 50 Cent: “If the roof on fire, let the motherfucker burn. If you talking ‘bout money homie, I ain't concerned.” How will Wall Street react to a president whose grasp of finance appears both tenuous and offensive?


Michele Bachmann: Bachmann has not exactly flip-flopped as much as she has not taken a stand at all. At a Tea Party event in Pennsylvania she told the audience “A bird in the hand,” while during town hall in Ohio that same week said “A stitch in time.” If Ms. Bachmann cannot finish her thoughts, we could have a President who confuses our global partners with “America’s relationship with China is,” and “Our efforts in the Middle East are.”


Rick Perry: Being from Texas, Perry seems fond of uttering simple ‘country’ expressions, but can’t decide where he stands even on simple issues. Urging voters in Wisconsin to “let the cat out of the bag,” he then turned around to tell a crowd of union and labor activists in Detroit not to “buy a pig in a poke.” But his contradictory down-home wisdom doesn’t end there. The Governor cautioned the audience at an event in Atlanta not to “look a gift horse in the mouth,” while at an all-candidate forum two nights later tried to assure voters his position on tax reform was valid since it came “straight from the horse’s mouth.” And just a week later criticized President Obama’s position on health care saying “You can lead a horse to water but can’t make him drink.” Such equine uncertainty has no place in The White House.

2 comments:

Julianna said...

Thing is... the republicans just have to pick ONE direction in which they can blame it all on Obama.

Really. Is that too much to ask?

Trooper Thorn said...

Julianna: So far they are only united in blaming him for causing baldness.