Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Budget Diet Plan

The Congressional debate over the budget and debt re-financing took a strange turn over the last few days as politicians fatigued of the standard political jargon and adopted a sequence of odd food metaphors. Comparing the the deal to "a sugar coated Satan sandwich" or the President's shaky resolve to "Jell-O left out overnight" were only two of the many dietary references flying on Capitol Hill.

Some of the worst gastronomic similes were less culinary Oscar Wilde, however, and more illiterate Gordon Ramsay:
  • "There isn't a woman sexy enough to make eating this budget off her stomach palatable."
  • "The President's proposal is like overcooked asparagus: chewy going down and it makes your pee smell funny."
  • "This debt ceiling is a Cuisinart with only one setting: puree."
  • "There is no amount of Tabasco and beer that will make swallowing this oyster of a budget any easier."
  • "How many more onions are the American people expected to eat before they cry themselves into submission?"
  • "There are so many special deals rolled into this deal, it's like a "turducken" (a chicken cooked inside a duck cooked inside a turkey)
  • "This budget was supposed to be a thin-crust, but if we put one more pepperoni on, it will be thicker than a Chicago deep-dish."
  • "Osmama Bin Laden wanted everyone eating spoiled baba ghanoush and look what happened to him!"
  • "The Economy is like a bowl of ice cream. It's wet and cold and... maybe it's more like a slice of pie. It's sweet and warm with a flaky crust... No, the Economy is like a cookie. It's round and crunchy and sometimes has raisins... or is the Economy a pile of mashed potatoes or a peanut butter sandwich or a hot dog or a taco or a bag of chips or..."


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