There are, however, some surprising new conditions that have made their way into the agreement, many of which will affect players and fans alike:
- Inez Sainz is required to visit each team's locker room at least once a season.
- Players have the option of either soaking the winning coach in Gatorade, or covering him with delicious marzipan.
- Computer generated yellow scrimmage line to flash advertisements for feminine hygiene products and discount car insurance.
- The Black Eyed Peas must maintain a 500 yard distance from all future Superbowl half-time shows.
- In the event of a tie game, overtime will include two balls.
- As in Canadian Football, a missed field goal that is kicked through the end zone will be worth 2 points. A third point will be awarded if the ball knocks off a the block of cheese from a Packer fan's head.
Stadium operating costs will be reduced by replacing motorized first aid cars with the tiny Chuck Wagon Dog Food cart.
- Meaningless late season games that have no play-off impact are to enhanced by the mandatory inclusion of six fans drawn at random to 'come into the game'.
- Cheerleaders are encouraged to adopt more "macrame-based" outfits.
I say we fans start our own league. My uncle has a big yard and my mom can sew the uniforms.