Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Bachmann's Background

Michelle Backmann's near meteoric rise in support has put her in a solid second place in the nomination race. However, her 16% of GOP backing has brought on a renewed scrutiny to her past. With some of the revelations, it is likely her rise in popularity will stall as her judgement is questioned:
  • Had her physique digitally "slimmed down" like in 'Captain America'.
  • Got a great deal on campaign office computers, from China's fake Apple store.
  • Never washes her towels since "you are already clean when you use them."
  • Takes the same self-defense class as Wendi Murdoch but focuses more on seltzer bottle attacks.
  • Considers herself to be the unofficial "6th" Pussycat Doll.
  • Her amateur taxidermy has been known to frighten young and old alike.
  • Convinced Octomom that fertility treatments would be the perfect way to get Angelina Jolie to notice her.
  • Her foreign policy consists of speaking loudly and slowly to Canadian tourists.
  • Promoted Green Lantern to Warner Brothers as the super-hero "even more popular" than Spiderman or Batman.
  • Endorsed the expansion of the CFL into the US.
  • Her debt crisis solution? Coupons!

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