Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Save Your Home!

A new study suggests the current housing market collapse may be worse than during the Great Depression. Since 2006, house prices have fallen by over 30% with more on the way. But there is hope to maintain the value of your home. WIth the right additions, you may even increase the selling price:
  • Put up a sign reading: 'Almost as nice as the Spelling place'.
  • Build a ball pit. Kids love ball pits.
  • Convert your garage into a recording studio. You never know where the next Katy Perry or Nirvana will come from. (Wouldn't that have been cool if Katy Perry could have sung with Nirvana?)
  • If you have ever peed in the kitchen sink, you can claim it as another bathroom.
  • Multi-level homes can be enhanced with the installation of a fireman's pole.
  • What about a spider hole in the backyard? Bin Laden might still be alive if he had a spider hole.
  • If you have a hot tub, start referring to is as "The Grotto". If no hot tub, rename your bath tub "The Wet Pit."
  • If anybody famous ever slept there, christen their bedroom in their name (eg. The Pippa Middleton Suite). If you ever received a vulgar Tweet from Anthony Weiner, Tape a sign to your computer that reads: "Infected by Weiner".
  • Recent tornado's destroy your yard? Describe the dry, barren ground as "xerophytic landscaping."
  •  Replacing old windows with energy efficient ones will save money in the long run. Replacing your centerfold wives every two years will cost you your soul.

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