Tuesday, June 28, 2011

New Parenting Books

The popular parenting book "Go the F*** to Sleep" is coming under criticism for it's language, tone and general negative attitude towards children. Supporters defend it as a parody of classic bedtime storybooks and is intended for adults only as a satire. Many parents, however, praise the book's irony saying being able to laugh at the nightly frustration that comes with putting a child to bed has given them more patience and made them better parents.

While some critics describe the book as promoting abuse towards children, they should reserve their fight for the next wave of parenting parody books due out anytime:
  • "Stop That Crying or I'll Give You Something To Cry About!"
  • "Keep It Up Mister and There Will Be No Toy Story 4 For You!"
  • "You Can Sit There All Night Until That Plate Is Clean For All I Care!"
  • "J**** C*****! Don't You Ever Knock?"
  • "Do You Want to Go Live With Charlie Sheen? Because I Can Make It Happen!"
  • "I Don't Care What You Do At Daddy's House! Here You Brush Your Damn Teeth!"
  • "You Don't Need a Band-Aid If It's Not Bleeding!"
  • "Not Everybody Is Special, You Know?"
  • "Who The H*** Has To Pee Every Five Minutes?"
  • "If I Hear That Selena Gomez Song One My Time I'm Going To Blow My F***ing Head Off!"
  • "What's Wrong With You? How Could You Lose Another Pair of Glasses?"
  • "Stop Fighting With Your Sister! Don't Make Me Come Back There!"
  • "I Need A Drink!" (featuring a special introduction by Vodka Mom)

8 comments:

Ed said...

Ha!

I'd read every one.

Stacy Lynn said...

Love them! I think I've experienced all of them. I'd also add..."You Flushed, WHAT???"

Julianna said...

I'd also add...

"Checkers is not a full contact sport."

and

"Please stop smelling your brither's butt."

Vodka Mom said...

brilliant.


Now, I REALLY need a drink.

Vodka Mom said...

and how about things a 13 year old should NOT say in front if his mother. "Do NOT say "I'd tap that" " Period.

Trooper Thorn said...

Ed: Whatever it takes to improve this nation's literacy.

Stacy: Plumbing nightmares indeed.

Julianna: Oh, the games kids play...

Vodka Mom: Nobody should use that expression.

Anonymous said...

Forget the book “Go the F**k to Sleep”, a pathetic, soul-less, allegedly rebel, ‘children’s book’. Don’t waste your hard-earned money, instead read a BANNED book like “America Deceived II” by a real rebel and the “World’s Most Hated Author”, E.A. Blayre III.
Last link (before Google Books bans it also]:
http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000190526

Trooper Thorn said...

Thanks Anonymous for the reference to another 9/11 conspiracy book. Have you read "Anthony Weiner's Twitter Slip Up Proves People In the US Government Couldn't Possibly Maintain The Type of Secrecy Needed To Blow Up The Twin Towers And Strike The Pantagon"? It really opens your eyes.