Tuesday, June 14, 2011

New GOP Hottie?

Sarah Palin Headquarters are scrambling after a new woman emerged on the Republican landscape to challenge her. The spotlight fell on Congresswoman Michele Bachmann during last night's GOP debate when the Minnesota representative announced she had filed her nomination papers. Not only was she attractive, but was well-spoken, charming, informed and did not once refer to herself as "a maverick".

Politics is a rough game and Palin must move fast to regain her position as the front-running female republican. Her campaign team is already developing several strategies to take the wind out of Bachmann's sails:
  • Bypass the 'gotcha' media and start tweeting on that MyFacePage thingy.
  • Have a walk-on appearance as President Palin on Gene Simmon's Family Jewels.
  • Bachmann was praised for her understanding of issues. Palin must identify these "issues" and hunt them dead.
  • Challenge Bachmann to debate Tina Fey.
  • Does anyone still duel anymore? That might be a good idea.
  • Use her 'One Nation' bus to jump three other buses at county fairs across America.
  • Find someone to write another patriotic book in a week. Include pictures of Bachmann having lunch with Hitler.
  • Are there any other terrorists still alive she could shoot on CNN?
  • If Anthony Weiner has his own doll, maybe there should be a Palin doll! (Automatic weapons sold separately)
  • Have another child go on Dancing With the Stars. If none available, see if she can adopt Selena Gomez.
  • A trip the dollar store for some glitter sounds like fun.
  • Officially announce her candidacy already!


Ed said...

She is a hottie.

Doug Stephens said...

Usually your stuff makes me smile, Trooper, but 'identify these "issues" and hunt them dead,' made me laugh at loud. The real laughing at loud, not the Internet kind.

Trooper Thorn said...

Ed: She's got that Mary Tyler Moore thing going on.

Doug: Glad to be of service, my friend.

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