Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Navy Fights Disney

In all the excitement following the execution of Osama bin Laden, the Disney Corporation has tried to cash in by trademarking the name 'SEAL Team 6'. While they hoped to use the name and image of this elite (and deadly) fighting squad on all manner of T-shirts, lunch boxes, video games and infant crib mobiles, the Navy is fighting back. With the weight of the US military and government behind the SEALs, it is unlikely the Disney lawyers will be able to 'own' the bin Laden killers.

Dogs and Jeans would like to suggest some other newsworthy people rife for trademarking that Mickey and The Gang might find an easier corporate victory:
  • Wedding Kim Kardashian©
     - Even if Kim herself is not willing to sell out on her Special Day (pause for choked laughter), we're pretty sure her ass is eager to make it's own deal for more attention.
  • Area 51© - What great fodder for Disney movies: UFO's, secret military technology, the living corpse of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Area 51 could supply Donald, Buzz and Woody or even Kurt Russell with CGI adventures for years to come.
  • The LA Lakers© - Disney has always had a penchant for making films about lovable losers who overcome the odds. Now that the Lakers suck, the timing is perfect. All they need is a down-on-his-luck coach and a rival team with superior athletic talent but a complete lack of sportsmanship.
  • The Guys from The Hangover© - It's likely that Warner Bros. has secured just about every trademark possible for this summer's comedy hit, but they probably left it open for Disney to release a movie about the gang's adolescent high jinks in "Hangover Babies".
  • Kate and Pippa Middleton - Everything these women do is front page news. Now that Kate is Princess Katherine, her former identity is up for grabs. Disney can recast The Middleton Girls© in all sorts of teenage friendly situations: long lost identical cousins, a private detective sister-team, an all-girl pop group. This could be the opportunity Miley Cyrus needs to rehab her image.
  • Kirstie Alley© - It has to be a more than a full-time job for the actress/dancer to keep up with all her weight gains and losses. Disney has the technology to take over the process for her in a "Pirates of the Carribean' meets "Bear Mountain Jamboree" kind of way.
  • Lady Gaga© - She's not really human anyway, so obtaining the rights to use her name and image should be a slam dunk. Lady Gaga© would make a great movie super villain, hideous but misunderstood sea creature or some sort of groovy space vehicle.
Update: Disney has withdrawn it's application with the Navy. However, Kirstie Alley is keen to negotiate after not winning Dancing With the Stars.

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