Monday, May 16, 2011

Trump Helps IMF Boss Kill Time

The head of the International Monetary Fund has been arrested in New York and held without bail. Because he is one of the most powerful men in the world, he has been held without bail for his alleged sexual assault on a hotel employee. But how can a man who is used to the finer things pass his time behind bars while awaiting trial? Dogs and Jeans has some suggestions:
  • Enjoy frequent visits from Donald Trump, who now has plenty of time since he won't be pretending to run for President anymore.
  • Find a pen pal on the outside who might be interested on being a "human shield" sometime down the road.
  • Yoga. Lots and lots of yoga.
  • Send birthday cards to Megan Fox.
  • Think about Megan Fox doing yoga, or at least wearing yoga pants.
  • Channel all the suffering you experienced "in the Big House" into best selling Rap CD. The title song should even be called "In The Big House."
  • Pray for Stephen Hawking's soul.
  • Request you be assigned as Raj Rajaratnam's cell mate. Figure out what all this "insider trading" is so you can do it too.
  • Now that Miranda Lambert is married, switch your support on The Voice to Cee-Lo from Blake Shelton.
  • Finally get caught up on several seasons of "How I Met Your Mother".
  • Learn the secrets of counting cards in Black Jack. Plan to break a casino someday when you get out of jail.
  • Begin lobbying for a seat on the International Olympic Committee.
  • Think about how nice it would be to have a maid to tidy up your cell. Feel shame for having treated one so badly.


LOLA said...

Oh Trooper Thorn, you make the best suggestions. Please solve all my problems.


Trooper Thorn said...

LOLA: Thanks. I'd rather light a candle than curse the darkness, but try not to set anything on fire.