Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Bin Laden Movies

In the wake of this weekend's killing of bin Laden, Hollywood directors are lining up to pitch their ideas for films based on the terrorist leader's life. From 3D adventure to romantic comedy, we may see the Al Qaeda story soon at a Cineplex near you.

Michael Bay's Pitch:
Mankind in threatened by a semi-robotic race from the planet AL-K8-A. Their charismatic leader Ben Lay-10, is nearly successful in enslaving the human race until a band of rebels lead by a clone of Will Smith and retired colonel Dennis Quaid (who needs to be rescued from Alcatraz) infect the mothership with a computer virus. The whole AL-K8-A fleet is destroyed in 15 minutes of explosions.

Nora Ephron's Pitch:
Osama bin Laden and George Bush Jr. first meet as undergraduates at Yale. They immediately dislike each other, but over the years life's circumstances keep throwing them together. Through failed relationships, lost jobs and health crises each man is there to support the other. They come to realize how much each man means to the the other. In the end, the retire to Provence where they write a best selling cookbook.

James Cameron's Pitch:
On a transatlantic air flight, a young Muslim man falls in love with a wealthy New Your socialite. However their relationship is blocked by her wealthy fiancee who parachutes from the plane with the girl moments before it crashes into the Staue of Liberty. The hero survives and pledges to track down the fiancee and win back the girl. His search takes him to a distant planet where the fiancee's company is exploiting the natural resources of proto-Islamic populace. The hero assimilates with the natives and leads them in a revolt. they topple the evil company and he wins the hand of the girl.

Todd Phillips's Pitch:
A bunch of friends from a madras school struggle with the realities of jobs, marriage and parenthood. They decide to "get back to nature" with a weekend camping trip in the Nevada desert where they swing from monkey bars, run through tires and crawl under barb wire in an an effort to get back in shape. A rogue CIA agent mistakes them for Middle East trouble makers and the chase is on! Can they survive Las Vegas and prove their innocence?

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