Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Are You Arnold’s Love Child?

The Internet is abuzz with the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger had fathered a “love child” with the housekeeper. There are rumors that this may only be one of many. If you feel you might be one of these potentially numerous bastard offspring, here are a few helpful signs:

  • Are your calves larger than most people’s thighs?

  • The Kennedys: “Historic American Family with a Tragic Past” or “Personal Political Stepping Stones”?

  • Have you been smoking cigars since you were toilet trained?

  • Is the evangelical prophesy that Judgement Day is May 21 simply the Church’s copyright infringement on Terminator 2: Judgement Day?
  • Has your thick Austrian accent caused awkward social moments?

  • Does the thought of making a movie with Danny DeVito thrill you with the promise of box office gold?

  • Does the thought of making a movie with Sinbad horrify you with the thought of a box office flop?

  • Whose side should Oprah support: Maria’s or Arnold’s?

  • Do you consider fondling and groping coworkers, teachers and fellow students to be normal?


sunshine said...

I wonder if this housekeeper is Mexican and that's the main reason Arnold was against Mexican's rights and trying to get rid of them all in California!!! LOL

LOLA said...

Fondling: Definitely normal.


Trooper Thorn said...

sunshine: I believe she is German and he just considered it a form of annexation.

LOLA: As long as the fondling is tender (or paid for).

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