Monday, April 18, 2011

Is The Last Supper A Sign The Economy Getting Worse?

Standard & Poor's Ratings Service has changed it's outlook on the American deficit level from "Stable" to "Negative". The stock market has reacted accordingly this morning with stocks plummeting and wealth being lost from multiple portfolio's. While much of the current activity is being blamed on the government's inability to present a balanced budget, the signs of a weak economy have been evident for some time. You just have to know where to look:

  • Former Tiger Woods mistress Rachael Uchitel can no longer survive on disclosures to the media alone and has begun a career as a private investigator. Critics are concerned even her over-sized sunglasses will not be enough to ensure any discretion while she creeps around in people's trash sleuthing for clues.

  • Fans of M. Night Shyamalan are trying to raise the $150,000 necessary to send the director back to film school in an effort to prevent him from making another travesty like "The Happening" or "The Last Airbender".
  • With too little money available to meaningful health care reform, the Obama government has launched a new "citizen driven" self-protection campaign entitled "Helmets 24/7!".
  • Women's Heath magazine could only afford a tiny pair of cut-off shorts and a tube-top for Julianne Hough's recent cover shoot. Economists expect the June edition cover will feature Audrina Partridge wearing only well positioned electrical tape.


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