Monday, April 11, 2011

The End Is Near!

Repent all ye sinners, repent! That means everyone with overdue library books and unpaid parking tickets too. If this morning's listing of news events on Yahoo is any indication, the prophecies in the Book of Revelations are coming true! Take a look for yourself and try to deny that these are not signs of the coming End of Days!

Hugh Hefner turned 85 this weekend and celebrated with his 21 year old son, and his 24 year old fiancee Crystal Harris! 
  • Sign of the Apocalypse: "His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; yet he lusted after the young girl whose head shone like gold; but her heart was a sharp two-edged sword." Revelations 1:14
The FBI documented flying disks landing in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947!
  • Sign of the Apocalypse: "The fifth angel sounded his trumpet, and I saw a star that had fallen from the sky to the earth. Thereafter, the false King denied it for more than 50 years." Revelations 9:1
Recently ejected American Idol singer Pia Toscano and Dancing With The Stars Dancer mark Ballas went on a date!
  • Sign of the Apocalypse: "And after these things I saw another angel come down from heaven, having great power; and she then had coffee with the Beast who danced." Revelations 18:1
Khloe Kardasian and Lamar Odem will have a new reality TV show starting next week!
  • Sign of the Apocalypse: "And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament for her, and we shall  be forced to see them redecorate a bathroom and try to make waffles together." Revelations 18:9
I think I'll be spending the rest of the week in church.


Ed said...


Stacy Lynn said...

Whoa...forget about earthquakes and stuff as proof.

Is there no scripture to cover Charlie Sheen?

Greg said...

lol, makes sense to me...

Trooper Thorn said...

Ed: Now you are free to attend confession, My Son.

Stacy Lynn: He's actually mentioned in Genesis 19 after the two angels visit Lot in Sodom: Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”

Trooper Thorn said...

Greg: Then you haven't read many Dogs and Jeans blogs yet.

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