Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Blame Canada!

A day after Dogs and Jeans reported that Standard and Poor had downgraded the US's economic outlook from "stable" to "negative", President Obama is reaching out the the public with his own positive message. In a campaign style national tour, the President is employing the same type of messaging that won him the 2008 election. However, will telling the public that deficit spending represents positive "change" be enough to inspire the confidence of the financial industry?

The Dogs and Jeans Sexy Marketing Geniuses feels he might need to use stronger language during press conferences to distract from the impending economic disaster:
  • "Jennifer Egan's novel just won the Pulitzer Prize. Let's all read it!"
  • "Things are worse in Japan!"
  • "G. Gordon Liddy has gold in his financial portfolio. Do you?"
  • (hold up a piece of poster board divided into four squares. Each square contains the flag of Egypt, Syria, Libya and the USA begin singing the Sesame Street song "One of These Things is Not Like the Others". With a Sharpie, start drawing dollar signs all over the US square. People will get the idea.)
  • "Remember the BP Oil Spill? That worked out okay didn't it?"
  • "Holy Cow!! Look over there everyone!" (then sneak away)
  • "Barbie poses a greater threat to American girls than debt."
  • "Do you want Sarah Palin as President?" (pause) "I didn't think so! Now, as I was saying..."
  • "If the Canadian election doesn't go the way I want, we're declaring war on Canada!"
  • "I'm pleased to have played a role in reconciling the Cyrus family during their recent visit to Camp David with Dr. Drew."
  • "Were there peanuts in this sandwich!?" (clutch at throat and slide behind podium)

12 comments:

The Onion said...

Love the spin. Dogs and Jeans should be writing all of Obama's speeches.

IS the Prez really allergic to peanuts? What a wimp.

www.alotoflayers.blogspot.com

thanks for the comment today. :-)

Trooper Thorn said...

The Onion: He isn't allergic. That's why the deception is so brilliant!

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