If any of you managed to pay attention through last night's ponderous Academy Awards, you might have been surprised that several of the following were not recognized with an Oscar statuette:- Hottest Lavender Dress: Mila Kunis
- Most Incoherent Presentation: Kirk Douglas
- Best Non-Accidental F-bomb: Melissa Leo
- Host That Was Most Likely High Through The Whole Thing: James Franco
- Winner Most likely to Crazy: Christian Bale
- Most Shocking Weight Loss: Jennifer Hudson
- Best Movie That Made Trooper Bawl Like A baby That Was Not Nominated For Anything: Secretariat
- Most Charming Acceptance Speech: Colin Firth
- Best Categories For Going To Toilet: Three Way Tie Between Animated Short, Sound Editing and Foreign Language Film
- Oddest Moment: Former Host Billy Crystal honoring late host Bob Hope, followed by Bob Hope being funnier that James Franco and Anne Hathaway.
- Hottest Spaniard: Penelope Cruz
- Enough With The Jokes About Your Drug Problems Already!: Robert Downey Jr.
- Winner Who Actually Made You Think: Best Documentary winner Charles Ferguson who reminded us that none of the co-conspirators in the financial crisis have gone to jail.
- Presenter Who Looked Homeless: Jeff Bridges
- Funniest Moment: Spoofed Song from Twilight New Moon: "He Doesn'tOwn A Shirt"
Worst Winning Song: "We Belong Together"- Tightest Dress: Scarlett Johansson
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7 comments:
you know what oscar i'd like to see?
"best trent reznor with his pants off".
i like to think it would be a huge category, even with only one nominee.
And the Oscar for the best Symdaddy goes to ....
Kage: Funny how the "Fuck You Like An Animal" guy went so corporate. I hear he's collaborating with Phil Collins on a Broadway musical now.
Symdaddy: Sure, why not?
Yeah I can only surmise that Scarlett needed help to get out of that dress and that she had plenty of volunteers.
Also, when did it become interesting to wheel out incoherent old fools and condescend to them just because they're 90 something? CRINGE! :)
I think the Academy should install a trap door system that winners have to stand on and when someone mentions their "producers" or gets out a list, it opens and they get dunked into a tank of burning oil.
VA: I think her dress just melts off. At least in my imagination it does.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that cried during Secretariat.
Tammy: First Mamma's dead, then Daddy's lost his mind, then the colt shows some promise but then Daddy dies and she can't keep the farm. Then the colt has some success but then encounters adversity before she learns how strong a woman can be. My God, it's all too much to bear!
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