Mubarak to Join SI Swimsuit Staff?

Understanding that losing a job can be one of the most traumatic events in a person's life, the US State Department has reached out to Hosni Mubarak offering support. Career Transition experts within the department's Human Resources office have complied a sample of Post-Presidential activities to help the deposed Egyptian leader find a new purpose:

• Lead a revolution in Iraq or Tunisia, then start suppressing them.
• Photographer of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. Now who wouldn't want that job?
• Bodyguard for Ellen DeGeneres to keep stalkers from her home.
• A little weekend surgery, then train to become the First Egyptian Women's Wimbledon tennis champ.
• Replace Brad Womack as the current Bachelor on NBC's "The Bachelor" unless he starts getting rid of the Crazies!
• Los Angeles Dead Person Cubicle Checker.
• Sharpen a pencil and cut another $1 billion from the US budget already!