Mubarak Has Opinions

In a surprising move, long-time Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak today announced his resignation. Ceding authority to the new Vice President, Omar Suleiman, observers say Mubarak has cleared the way for a peaceful end to the protests. Many Egyptian citizens feared that a military coup would topple the government if things remained unchanged, so there was much pressure on Mubarak to make his announcement. Still political pundits were puzzled by some of the seemingly unrelated pop-culture statements in his speech:

• "I admit that Brooklyn Decker is attractive but her bikini-clad presence in "Just Go With It" will not be enough to distract audiences from the fact that it is just another Adam Sandler movie substituting slapstick and fart jokes for plot and character."
• "The US interest rates remain so low, now is the best time to order your sweetheart that extravagant rose bouquet for Valentine's Day at proflowers.com. If you use the promo code "HOSNI", they will include a crystal vase worth $19.95."
• "If the trend towards pre-prequels continues in the X-Men series, the next film will be X-Men Prenatal: The Mutant Foetus."
• "Did anyone else feel "The Social Network" made Mark Zuckerberg seem like kind of a douche?"
• "Despite her clever use of YouTube to market her new video "Hold It Against Me", I fear Britney Spears will far far short of the career comeback she is hoping for."
• "Lindsey Lohan's past transgressions should not be given any consideration when assessing the allegations she currently faces for felony theft of jewelry. Furthermore, I believe she will be found not guilty and be entitled to damages!"
• "Try as I might, I am unable to distinguish Paula Abdul's "Live To Dance" from any of the other 500 dance shows already on television."
• "With President Obama's approval ratings now at an all-time low, it is time for the Democratic Party to look to Alec Baldwin for salvation. I would accept the nomination except for the fact that I'm, you know, Egyptian."

Feb 11 Update: Even more surprising was that his resignation speech yesterday wasn't really a resignation at all. It took until today for him to actually step down. Look for Mr. Mubarak to join the next cast of Dancing With the Stars.