Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Joy of the Low-Maintenance Woman

sexy low maintenance womanSince nearly all of today's news is bad (even to the point of being un-satirable), I thought I'd use today's post to do something I rarely do: share something personal.

I am married to a Low Maintenance Woman. She is not the woman pictured (my wife is more beautiful) but you get the idea. While High Maintenance Women have some benefits as a mate, for me there is nothing like the mix of casual attitude, playfulness and confident femininity that the Low Maintenance Woman provides.

To be more specific about the Low Maintenance Woman's positive traits:
  • She can get out the door at the same time you do for a last minute trip to the store and not spend 25 minutes picking out another top and re-applying makeup.
  • She can fall asleep with the light on.
  • She can fall back asleep if you wake her up in the night.
  • She doesn’t need to change hotel rooms because there is too much light or it’s too noisy.
  • She means what she says.
  • She accepts a gift of exercise equipment gladly because she enjoys being fit.
  • She can turn every head in a room whether in strapless/backless/plunging designer dress or jeans and t-shirt.
  • She understands that disagreeing with her is not personal. The dispute is only about the issue being discussed.
  • She believes you when you say her hair is sexy even if it hasn't been straightened.
  • She isn't embarrassed to shave her legs in the shower with you.
  • She doesn't think using a coupon at a nice restaurant detracts from the romance of Date Night.
  • She may not like the sport you are watching but enjoys the highlights of the amazing hit/catch/tackle/goal/check/throw.
  • She says what she means.
  • She understands that if her friend is crazy, she doesn't need to discuss with you why her friend did or said what she did today. Crazy people do crazy things.

Furthermore, a Low Maintenance Woman reading this would find this list to be complimentary and be flattered that her husband shared such thoughts. The High Maintenance Woman, by contrast, would be outraged that her husband had reduced her to bullet points and shared it with strangers.


Jess said...

It is no mystery that I am a low maintenance woman! I like your wife already!

We recently had a house guest that took...wait for it...TWO HOURS to shower, put on her make up and fix her hair. TWO HOURS!

I have to be at work at 9:00am. I wake up at 8:30, get a shower and do all the shit you have to do to get to work...PLUS GET 30 minutes.

Two hours? WTF?

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Honey is that you? I didn't know you had a blog!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Yep, despite what you might think, I too am low maintenance and I've even been told this frequently. I'm not argumentative or moody especially and I'm not up for picking fights or the like. I'm in and out of the shower and I can leave the house without make up without feeling weird. I like camping and such things that involve being away from showers and bathrooms and comfortable beds. Long live the low maintenance humans of either gender. :) Your wife sounds fabulous!

Trooper Thorn said...

Jess: Despite your 30 min prep, you clean up pretty good. I've seen the party pics!

Peg: Nope. Different "Honey".

VA: She is fabulous. And thank you for not giving into the stereotype of "hormone" moodiness. That's an excuse for behaving badly.

Bob said...

You Lucky Dog!

Trooper Thorn said...

Bob: I thank my lucky stars.

Kimberly said...

Love it!

LilliGirl said...

You should thank you stars! :)

I think you're both lucky and you wife must be nothing but awesome.

I am of the low maintenance variety..My kids and I get ourselves ready feed and water 4 dogs 2 cats and get out of the house in less than an hour each morning...and other times I am often found sighing as I wait around when all me and my love were going to do was run to the store, real quick. ;)

Mala said...

Great shout-out to the low maintenance gals. I'm a proud member!
and I can be up and out the door in 15... but luckily it's right to the barn, and the horses don't care if I'm purty'd up or not.

OneZenMom said...

I totally want to take your wife out for a beer. ;)

Trooper Thorn said...

Kimberly: Thanks. I guess you must be a LMW too?

Lilli: Is your man high maintenance or is he re-watering the dogs and cats?

Mala: Horses can be judgemental, but they keep it to themselves.

ZenMom: She would go with you. She likes an order garlic ribs too.

Jess said...

Well, Trooper, stop making me blush! :) Thanks!

LilliGirl said...

My man is a she and while she likes to think (and appear as if) she is low maintenance, she is not. lol

Trooper Thorn said...

Jess: Admit it, you like the attention.

Lilli: I'm embarrassed for my assumption! However, your mate is the worst kind of girl (as Harry points out in "When Harry Met Sally"): the high maintenance girl who thinks she's low maintenance. Does she want everything "on the side"?

Anonymous said...

Thanks hun, but CLEARLY, I am the lucky one!! xox

Trooper Thorn said...

I think it might actually know that anonymous poster!

Anonymous said...

You're on to me :)

Anonymous said...

I am a low maintenance wife also and I think that is what my husband loves about me

Trooper Thorn said...

New Anonymous: Have you and the previous anonymous met?

Anonymous said...

:)) I am from an asian country. We were raised by our parents even if we are all well off to live a simple life.Thank God for that.