How The Grinch Stole My Innocence

I’m going to risk being a Grinch myself, but I found myself watching “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” with a new eye last night. Maybe it’s having gone through a divorce that makes you look at situations with a jaundiced eye.



There are plenty of flaws in the story that I just can’t accept anymore. And it’s not some of the more ridiculous elements like poor Max being capable of pulling the sled loaded with 1000’s of pounds of the town’s possessions. I can buy into the fantasy; I’m the King of Suspending My Disbelief. After all, I willingly turned a blind eye to my ex-wife’s infidelity for two years.


There are just element s to the story where the human condition itself, Christmas or not, makes them not credible.


The Grinch’s Home
A cave atop a mountainside with no access to food, water or fuel? I can understand that his dislike of Who-kind drove him to life as a hermit, but there were more hospitable environs far from town which would have made for an easier existence.


The Grinch’s Santa Costume
The Grinch only cuts out one piece of cloth for the jacket and one for the hat. Even my 7 year old pointed out the geometrical impossibility of sewing a three-dimensional object from a single, two-dimensional shape.


The Grinch’s Break & Enter Success

Putting aside that the Grinch was capable of packing and moving everyone’s possessions in about 4 hours, does anyone else find it possible that every resident of Whoville was asleep on Christmas Eve? Every parent of young children is usually up to 4 or 5 am putting together toys and stuffing stockings. CindyLou Who would not have been the only person to discover the Grinch; her parents would have been assembling her Rum-tuzzle or Ting-dangler on the livingroom floor when he came down the chimney.

The Whos's Joyous Morning

I’m sorry, but there is not a Chance In Hell, the Whos woke up and immediately assembled in the village square to sing carols. Did you see the state of the houses? Nothing but hooks and some wires! No amount of Christmas Cheer would have prevented every resident from the shock and horror of having all their possessions taken, not just presents. The sense of personal violation and the threat to their families it represented would have far outweighed the sorrow of losing a few presents.

The Grinch’s Triumphant Return

So the guy who broke into your home while you were sleeping and took everything you owned shows up that same day to give it back. Do you:

1. Rejoice at his beneficence and celebrate him as an honoured guest; or
2. Descend on him as a mob and remove him as a future threat?

I thought so. The Grinch’s sled ride down Mt. Crumpet would have been his last.

Next up, we deal with a certain self-important snowman.