hours on Friday. Even worse, he has not provided an adequate reason to the media for the collision with a fire hydrant and tree belonging to his neighbor. The following list of excuses will no longer satisfy the public Mr. Woods: - He was rushing out to get in-line for Black Friday savings on a dashboard GPS unit at Best Buy. Ironic huh?
- You’d think that with enough money to buy Delaware there would be at least one diaper in the house, but nooooo!
- There was a rumor that Kanye West was headed to an awards show and had to be stopped before it was too late!
- He wanted to be the first to get Chelsea Clinton an engagement present.
- Putting greens are especially forgiving between 2 and 3 AM
- He feared for his life after dinner guest Serena
Williams took a joke the wrong way and went “kinda nuts”. - Reckless midnight driving is the best way to create room for one more turkey sandwich.
- Army recruiting ad was especially effective when he wasn’t feeling “all that he could be”.
- Haven’t you ever panicked that your retirement fund is not doing well enough to support you and your family?
- He was on his way to give the Detroit Lions some help. Any help.
- Somebody had to talk some sense into Oprah and convince her not to quit.
- Trees are responsible for 75% of organic pollution in America. We should all be running them over for the sake of the environment.
- Have you ever wanted to see if that Organ Donor insignia on your driver’s license really worked?
- Hot Swedish women aren’t really all that hot after midnight. Psych! Yes they are. They are so hot. Like nuclear hot!
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10 comments:
I'm in the dark about this, as I've only heard snippets. Was he drunk or was he cheating on his wife (or both)?
hee...I love coming here. Mostly I lurk, but lol...had to say hi. It's been a while.
I bet Serena has a bigger penis than Tiger...
Lol, I just vaguely heard the story. I had to laugh about the golf club used to get him out of the car. It's a little bit crazy.
When I first heard about it, they made it sound like his wife was beating in his window with the golf club and that was the problem. I liked that story better.
Cocette: Perhaps we'll never know...
Hope: Welcome aboard.
OM: And she knows how to use it.
Jaina: I wonder how long she had to hunt in the garage to find a set of clubs?
Danielle: No one likes to see the Swedes angry.
Organic, that was hilarious. Her penis would scare me.
Great post dog.
So he gets caught having a hole in one and his wife teed off on his head and he was running for his life. Sounds like a typical American family to me.
Troop are you ok? It looks like the Anonymous Ruskies are invaiding Canada, or at least your blog! From my office in Detroit I can be across the border in 10 minutes. Give me 5 more minutes and I can have all the weapons you could ever need to stop an invasion!
Great post!
WVW: Thanks. Xena's was scary too.
Coffeypot: Good one. You are ready to join Bob Hope on the USO Christmas tour.
J in the D: Thanks for the offer. I deleted the Red bastards. Wolverines!!!
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