Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Who Loves Twilight? Brood if You Do.

"New Moon", the next installment of the Twilight series is in movie theatres this week, bringing relief to millions of adherents. Many fans of the books and films have been waiting in line-ups since last Thursday to be the first to see the much anticipated second film. But who are these people so obsessed with the teen vampire love story? Dogs & Jeans sent our Crack Popular Culture Mavens out into the field to see who these obsessive fans are. It turns out there are more than just teenage girls out there clamoring for tickets:






  • People who have more that three cats, but only one bedroom.

  • Teenage boys who think they are going to score with teenage girls after they get all weepy watching the doomed lovers.
    • Moms of teenage girls who started reading the books in order to bond with their daughters but are now even bigger fans than their girls.

    • Dentists

    • Teenage boys who think they are going to score with teenage girls after they get all reved up watching shirtless werewolves run around and fight.

    • Outcast girls who identify with the characters as "being different" without realizing that the actors themselves are hugely successful and are in no way misfits or rebels.

    • Adult men who think they are going to score with the moms who have gotten all reved up (and they probably will).

    • High School Guidance Councilors who need to figure out what the hell the kids are talking about at school.
    • Teenage boys who think they are going to score if the girl they really like, who told them they are just friends, can see him in a different way, like being sensitive and supportive.
    • Pastry chefs (that one surprised me too)

    13 comments:

    J in the D said...

    Deer Hunting season opened here in Michigan yesterday so all of the hunters are up north. . . Twilight opens in theaters so all of the hunter's wives will be all worked up . . . Sounds like the single guys will be busy this weekend. I'm buying stock in Trojan today as soon as I sell my GM holdings.

    Cocotte said...

    I don't love Twilight, though I will admit to reading my daughter's copy. I'm waiting for your movie, Trooper.

    WannabeVirginia W. said...

    Okay, I have an inappropriate crush on Taylor Lautner he is very young and I am not young. My daughter is hooked and bought her tickets already, I didn't read the book but saw the first movie. I had an inappropriate crush that time on Robert Pattison (the main vampire), though he is very pale and in serious need of some colouring! I try not to make comments around my daughter about Taylor L. except for he is cute, but not totally go outwardly scream my head of (that would be so inappropriate). P.S. I love the car that Edward drove in the movie. Oh to be young and full of raging hormones!!!

    Mama Dawg said...

    Oh, I'm not surprised by pastry chefs. They're waaaaaaaay into Twilight.

    Coffeypot said...

    The first movie sucked and I won't see this one. But I am reading the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series and am enjoying it.

    Ed Adams said...

    This is probably the most accurate assessment ever posted.

    Trooper Thorn said...

    J in the D: Make sure you don't shave, but wax your chest if you want some action.

    Cocette: You've already seen my biopic Cocette: Caddyshack.

    WVW: So... how long did you wait in line for your tickets?

    Mama Dawg: See, I had no idea. People never tell me anything.

    Coffeypot: I had no idea who that was, but now I know it's the True Blood show with (Canadian actress) Anna Paquin.

    Ed A: Thanks. Tell your friends.

    Jaina said...

    Haha, the crack research team does it again! While I won't be seeing the movie right when it opens (because seriously, WAY too many people...though I did see Pirates 3 at the 7pm showing before the first midnight showing, and I went to the midnight Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire...that one was for my roommate at the time) I definitely plan to see it. The books are still WAY better, but I take the movies separately from the book and they're decent. But the books still win.

    only a movie said...

    Oh yes, my son did some mighty speed reading last summer so that he could discuss vampires with the girlies. I think it helped him.

    Maybe he'll be a pastry chef.

    WannabeVirginia W. said...

    No line ups in this neck of the woods, otherwise, that would have been a no go on seeing the movie!

    Meghan said...

    Don't forget cougars looking at Robert Pattison as the ultimate barely legal bulleye.

    Trooper Thorn said...

    Jaina: You are far too sensible for a person your age.

    Movie Girl: Yes, nothing prepares a young man for success with the ladies like being considered a "friend" first.

    WVW: I have no idea what you are trying to say, but I hope you get to see the film (if that's what you are suggesting you want to do).

    Meghan: Those cougars are a discriminating bunch for sure.

    Jaina said...

    Haha, thanks Trooper! You're actually not the first person to tell me that. :)