Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"Shocking" Bachelorette Finale Impacts Climate Change

News reports this morning describe last night's "Bachelorette" Finale as 'stunning' and 'shocking' that Jillian accepted the proposal of shy Ed of confident Kiptyn (although no one mentions the inclusion of someone named "Kiptyn" as being stunning in the first place). Perhaps I'm jaded from a lifetime of media exposure, but this doesn't strike me as a very surprising turn of events.



If the network really wanted to break new ground, here's a few directions the producers could have gone in:


  • The Bachelorette reveals she is actually a man.
  • Al Gore previews his new "documentary" claiming he was the rightful winner of Season 3.
  • Rejected suitors must compete on "Ultimate Fighter" to win their freedom.
  • Michael Vick has a 'walk-on" urging viewers to spay and neuter their animals.
  • Ed cannot marry until he spends four days being grilled by the Senate Judicial Review Committee.
  • After being turned down, Kiptyn is 'sedated' by Michael Jackson's doctor.
  • The Bachelorette wins a cross-country "Thelma and Louise" style stagette celebration hosted by Sarah Palin.
  • Lance Armstrong announces his desire to compete in next season's "Bachelorette".
  • The Bachelorette reveals she is actually a man, and the groom is more excited.

7 comments:

jiggins said...

I haven't ever watched any of these versions of that show.. but it always makes me laugh when i hear about the 'controversy' or two.. that are inevitable with every one! Good for a smile at least!

Cocotte said...

It would be worth it to get married again, just to go on the Palin shindig!

Swirl Girl said...

I never watched any of these bachellor or 'ette shows. There is so much better trash to watch on tv.

Aside from that - raising two girls...I wouldn't want them 'test driving' their intended (on national tv )

Sprite's Keeper said...

Ooh, can I cross fingers for Bullet Point #5? That would make me tune into to CNN!

Jocelyn said...

Or: could two of the potential bachelors be caught in an illicit liplock in a walk-in closet?

Trooper Thorn said...

jiggins: If not for these problems, society have to focus on boring issues like poverty or disease. Not very sexy...

Cocette: She should give up on the White House and become America's greatest tour promoter.

Swirl Girl: Only on TV can you truly evaluate a person's intentions. People wouldn't go on the show just for the money and fame would they?

Sprite's Keeper: Whatever it takes to get people engaged in the nation's business...

Jocelyn: I think you are thinking of a different reality show. Or Monday Night Football.

Distributorcap said...

do you think ABC paid her to take the shy guy