Friday, July 24, 2009

Sarah Palin Will Wash Cars For Your Support

An ABC/Washington Post poll has found the soon-to-be-former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin has an uphill climb ahead of her if she hopes to run for President. Dogs & Jeans' Crack Political Consulting Team has come up with several ways she can build her popularity ahead of 2012:

  • Seduce Tom Cruise into leaving Katie Holmes for her, then wait until Cruise leaves her for someone else. Ride the wave of sympathy Baby!

  • How about a Bake Sale? Everybody enjoys a good bake sale.

  • Have a guest appearance on "Entourage" as Turtle's Hot Mom.

  • Kick a last second field goal for the New England Patriots to win the SuperBowl. Then punch Tom Brady in the mouth, just to pander to Americans who hate the Patriots.

  • Find Bin Laden.

  • Develop an alternative fuel source. Name it "Palinine".

  • Gain custody of Michael Jackson's children and raise them in Alaska on weekly web show. C'mon, you must know people in CFS who can make this happen?

  • Propose a National Health Care solution... no, wait... that strategy makes you unpopular.

7 comments:

Jaina said...

Haha, you've got some great suggestions there. I like it. Have a great weekend Trooper!

Mike said...

I love bake sales. The Tom Cruise idea might be a bit risky. Taking Katie Holmes out might be a stretch....

only a movie said...

What, you don't think she could make it if she just got another posh wardrobe and a snappy new hairdo?

Barefoot Dreamer said...

oh man... what are you doing? You should contact her and become a consultant.. ideas like these could take her a long long way

Swirl Girl said...

Baked Alaska!!

Cocotte said...

I like the reality show idea with the Jackson kids. Incorporate her own kids and their weird names along with Prince, Paris & Blanket and you've got quite a show.

Trooper Thorn said...

Jaina: Thanks, never let it be said I don't care.

Mike: I'm sure Katie is looking for an unbarred window or unguarded door to make her escape.

Movie Girl: Possibly. That strategy nearly worked for Ross Perot.

Barefoot: I need to maintain my amateur status.

Swirl Girl: Hmm, getting arrested for possession for the purposes of trafficking might not help Palin, but I appreciate your enthusiasm.

Cocette: "The Bristol & Blanket Show"?