Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Nicole Richie and The Cast of "Lost" Are Safe, For Now

The 15-member U.S Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices has issued guidelines for those people eliglie to receive vaccinations against the H1N1 (Swine) flu. Priority groups include pregnant women; health care and emergency services personnel; people under 24 years of age; household and caregiver contacts of children younger than six months; and healthy adults with certain medical conditions.

In a surprise move, the Committee has also issued it’s list of people ineligible to receive vaccinations. While not comprehensive, the following have been restricted:

  • The cast of “Heroes”

  • Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter

  • Anyone who uses the title “DJ” before their name

  • The Washington Nationals

  • Paris Hilton

  • Girls who “pout” or “make-out” in their Facebook profile pictures

  • Brett Favre’s agent

  • Executives of bail-out companies who received massive performance bonuses

  • Janice Dickinson


tammy said...

But I've been working so hard on my pout.

only a movie said...

Bill O'Reilly gets a vaccine? Are you sure?

Cocotte said...

Though I'm not on the eligible list, I'm glad to see I'm also not mentioned on "Do Not Vaccinate" list either.

Trooper Thorn said...

tammy: Life is about making hard choices: an enticing photo or coughing spasms.

Movie Girl: Actually Bill O'Reilly was used to test the vaccine when the side effects still included painful rectal bleeding. He should be recovered by 2012.

Cocette: If you pick up some hepatitis, you're in!

Distributorcap said...

you mean sarah palin can get a vaccination?

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