Thursday, July 30, 2009

Is the Taliban Decorum Guideline the New Emily Post?

A new Taliban military "code of conduct" obtained in northwestern Pakistan calls for restrictions on suicide attacks aimed at avoiding the killing of civilians, but U.S. and Afghan military officials dismissed the document as propaganda, calling it hypocritical.

See if you can identify the booklet’s actual suggestions for changing the target of attacks from the ones Dogs & Jeans made up:

  1. "Suicide attacks should be at high value and important targets because a brave son of Islam should not be used for low value and useless targets,"

  2. “Helping old ladies across the street should be done without the use of explosives. Unless they are Jewish”

  3. “Decadent American beauty pageants should only be blown up after the awarding of Miss Congeniality”

  4. "In suicide attacks, the killing of innocent people and damage to their property should be minimized."

  5. Mujahideen should refrain from disfiguring of people, such as the severing of ears, nose and lips.”

  6. “Suicide bombing should no longer be used to get kittens out of trees.”

  7. “Adam Sandler is the greatest actor in the world. We all love The Zohan

  8. "Mujahideen must be well behaved, and treat the people properly, in order to get closer to the hearts of civilian Muslims,"

  9. “While it remains a funny practical joke, the “flaming bag of dog poop on the doorstep” gag should be used only on Enemies of Islam if the bad has a detonation switch.”

  10. "It is strictly prohibited to exchange prisoners for money. Killing can only be decided by the Imam or his deputy.”

  11. “Use only high quality video tape and proper lighting when making a video of a captured infidel begging for his life. Grainy or blurry products make all Muslims look bad.”

(Real: 1, 4, 5, 8, 10. Phony: 2, 3, 6, 7, 9, 11)


Cocotte said...

Those were tricky....but that is an awesome picture that you found. I think I'd look hot in that if I'd never given birth.

Trooper Thorn said...

Cocette: Glad I could challenge you. And I bet you'd look fantastic in all that guazy fabric :)

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